I can't sleep. It's 12:14 a.m. My alarm is set to go off at 4:30. Needless to say, I need to shut that off 'cause there's no way I'm gonna be able to swing that. Baby is sick...lots of boogies and congestion and wet coughs. She's been up a few times already tonight, and I expect to be visiting her some more before the sun comes up. I had grand plans of going to the gym before everyone woke up since I'm not going to be able to take the baby anywhere tomorrow, but insomnia and lifting weights don't mix! Guess the hubby is just gonna have to let me go tomorrow evening :)
Speaking of hubby, he's back. Yay! Poor guy, though, is having a rough time with the jet lag. Even setting the clock back/forward for daylight savings seriously messes him up for days...I can only imagine how long it's gonna take him to recover from this bout of time traveling. It's unfortunate, too, that Baby had to get sick so soon after his return...though you can bet that I'm appreciative of the timing!!! Anyways, the hubby is home for less than a week before he leaves again on another work trip (no time zone changes involved, though :).
I just yawned. That's a good sign. I should go take advantage of the moment. Sorry so short...I'll try to be back within a few days (baby permitting).
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Quickie but goodie
Earlier today I envisioned my evening as being a relaxing one...catching up on e-mails and then cuddling up with my Snuggie (yes, I said Snuggie...gift from the best mother-in-law evah!) and watching the Top Chef marathon while eating microwave popcorn (without the accompanying bowl of butter). Baby has had different plans. She's had a tough day. I'm keeping a close eye on her...I think a trip to the doc might be in order soon. She's had episodes of grabbing at her diaper and crying out...UTI? Yeast infection? Anyways, if it continues tomorrow, we'll be calling the doc. Anyways, though, tonight...she went down early but has been up several times since. I just now got back from holding her and giving her a bottle. I hope the rest of her night goes smoothly. She didn't sleep very well last night either.
Anyways, the point I was trying to make was that this was going to be a short entry...although I do seem to be babbling...
So, I went to the doctor today about my PMS issue. I decided to go to my PCP...2 reasons...first of all, I no longer have an OB/GYN since mine decided to up and leave and I have yet to find a new one; and secondly, my PCP loves to use her prescription pad. Always a good thing :) It never fails that the times I go to the doc for a problem that I find embarassing, an unexpected third party somehow gets involved. Case in point: My doctor didn't walk into the exam room...instead, it was a medical student who looked straight out of middle school. Fantastic. Nothing against medical students...I encourage learning...just not on me, okay?!? I knew I'd end up having to explain everything twice, once to her and once to the doc, and I just didn't feel like doing that, ya know? However, to her credit, she was super nice and sympathetic, knew about PMDD and its treatment, and agreed with the course of action I wanted to try. Basically, from the reading I'd done, it seemed as though "most" women had success with using an SSRI for the 2 weeks before their period. I was on Paxil during a particularly rough time in my life about 11 years ago, and it was amazing for me...I was ready to do it again. She said she just needed to talk to the doctor about it, specifically how it would play into my plans for trying to get pregnant again this summer, and that she and the doc would be back to talk to me. Fine. So, both of them come back, and the first thing the doc says is something to the effect of "So, I hear you're having a little PMS problem?" I guess maybe you had to be there to hear it (or in my head), but it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like kind of patronizing. Then, when talking about taking the SSRI for 2 weeks out of the month, she said "You know, if you want, you can just take it every day," at which point I felt compelled to explain that I don't NEED it every day...I only have these issues before my period...I'm "fine" otherwise. Her next blunder was "It's generally considered safe to take this while you're pregnant." Um, hello? When I'm pregnant I won't be having my period, so why would I continue to take a pill for symptoms I won't have? To ensure that she left the worst taste possible in my mouth, she ended the appointment by saying "You might want to talk to your insurance company about in-network therapists in your area that perhaps you can talk to." Is it just me or is it plainly obvious that to this woman my problem was psychiatric and not medical??? But you know what, who cares 'cause in the end I walked out of that room with a piece from her prescription pad and in 2 weeks I'll be medicated and hopefully without any urge to show her first-hand the rage I experience. So anyways, thanks, doc, for the Sarafem, a.k.a. Prozac.
So much for quickie.
Before I forget, if I could take a scale pic it would say 172. I'm actually okay with that, even though I was at 167 a couple weeks ago. If you knew what I'd eaten over the past couple weeks, though, you'd understand why a 5-pound gain is a relief!
Before I call it a night, I want to take a moment to thank some mommies out there. Nikki, thanks again for babysitting at the last minute so I could go to the doc. Melanie, thank you, as well, for having us over this morning...it was a refreshing change of scenery :)
Only 2 more days...
Anyways, the point I was trying to make was that this was going to be a short entry...although I do seem to be babbling...
So, I went to the doctor today about my PMS issue. I decided to go to my PCP...2 reasons...first of all, I no longer have an OB/GYN since mine decided to up and leave and I have yet to find a new one; and secondly, my PCP loves to use her prescription pad. Always a good thing :) It never fails that the times I go to the doc for a problem that I find embarassing, an unexpected third party somehow gets involved. Case in point: My doctor didn't walk into the exam room...instead, it was a medical student who looked straight out of middle school. Fantastic. Nothing against medical students...I encourage learning...just not on me, okay?!? I knew I'd end up having to explain everything twice, once to her and once to the doc, and I just didn't feel like doing that, ya know? However, to her credit, she was super nice and sympathetic, knew about PMDD and its treatment, and agreed with the course of action I wanted to try. Basically, from the reading I'd done, it seemed as though "most" women had success with using an SSRI for the 2 weeks before their period. I was on Paxil during a particularly rough time in my life about 11 years ago, and it was amazing for me...I was ready to do it again. She said she just needed to talk to the doctor about it, specifically how it would play into my plans for trying to get pregnant again this summer, and that she and the doc would be back to talk to me. Fine. So, both of them come back, and the first thing the doc says is something to the effect of "So, I hear you're having a little PMS problem?" I guess maybe you had to be there to hear it (or in my head), but it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like kind of patronizing. Then, when talking about taking the SSRI for 2 weeks out of the month, she said "You know, if you want, you can just take it every day," at which point I felt compelled to explain that I don't NEED it every day...I only have these issues before my period...I'm "fine" otherwise. Her next blunder was "It's generally considered safe to take this while you're pregnant." Um, hello? When I'm pregnant I won't be having my period, so why would I continue to take a pill for symptoms I won't have? To ensure that she left the worst taste possible in my mouth, she ended the appointment by saying "You might want to talk to your insurance company about in-network therapists in your area that perhaps you can talk to." Is it just me or is it plainly obvious that to this woman my problem was psychiatric and not medical??? But you know what, who cares 'cause in the end I walked out of that room with a piece from her prescription pad and in 2 weeks I'll be medicated and hopefully without any urge to show her first-hand the rage I experience. So anyways, thanks, doc, for the Sarafem, a.k.a. Prozac.
So much for quickie.
Before I forget, if I could take a scale pic it would say 172. I'm actually okay with that, even though I was at 167 a couple weeks ago. If you knew what I'd eaten over the past couple weeks, though, you'd understand why a 5-pound gain is a relief!
Before I call it a night, I want to take a moment to thank some mommies out there. Nikki, thanks again for babysitting at the last minute so I could go to the doc. Melanie, thank you, as well, for having us over this morning...it was a refreshing change of scenery :)
Only 2 more days...
Monday, February 16, 2009
My issue
...or at least one of many. Ha!
Actually, before I get into that, let me catch up on the past couple days since I haven't written. My friend Michele was kind enough to share her company with us from Saturday afternoon to Monday afternoon. The days were filled with the baby, while our nights were filled with wine and junk food and wedding talk. Raina's aunt babysat Sunday afternoon, giving us a couple hours to ourselves. It was my first time away from Raina since Chris left. We went to the gym and out to lunch...very relaxing. Sunday, though, marked the beginning of the decline of Raina's mood. Now I think it's toofie-related...I gave her medicine all day today and she finally seemed back to her old self this afternoon. I got a good look in her mouth and I believe I see 2 bottom ones coming in. Poor thing. So that's about it...nothing really exciting happened. Tomorrow marks the beginning of being good again. I'm not going to be able to post a scale pic ('cause I still haven't figured out the camera), but I'll be honest in my report. It's not going to be pretty. That's a pretty good lead into my issue....
So, let me start this by saying that I totally understand if the president of my gender wants to revoke my chick card for saying some of the things I'm about to say. I deserve it. Also, any dudes out there, I warn you that this will be completely over your heads, so you might want to go build a saw horse or drink a beer or whatever instead. This is all about PMS.
I've heard of women having bad PMS before. I can't say that I ever really had a friend who complained of it too being too bad...I just heard stories. To be brutally honest, I thought the stories of anything more than mild moodiness and cramps were...well...bunk. I mean, mild moodiness and cramps were all I ever had...surely accounts of anything more had to be a cry for attention or a fantastic excuse to get out of doing whatever didn't want to be done. I'll admit to using "bad PMS" as an excuse to get out of ROTC's Saturday boot camp one time (yes, I was in ROTC...I thought it would be more fun than college Health & Wellness...yes, I was dumb!). So anyways, before having Raina, my PMS consisted of some mild irritability and I could probably count on one hand the number of times I had cramps in a year. The PMS symptoms never really bothered me...it was my actual period that was the pits and what I dreaded the most (I'll spare you the details!).
So that was my PMS before having the baby...not too bad...nothing I would ever really complain about...something totally over in just a couple days. Now, though? After the baby? OMG.
It starts 2 weeks before my period, always with a day or two of extreme fatigue. It just so happened that either Chris or Raina (or both of them) have been sick these past couple months during this time, and so I always attributed the fatigue to my catching whatever they had, and then I would be patting my immune-system-o'-steel on the back a couple days later when the illness didn't appear. I'm convinced now, however, that the timing is PMS-related, not illness. After the day or two of extreme fatigue comes the really good stuff, the scary mental stuff. "Irritability" doesn't do it justice. Everything is annoying to the point that I want to lash out physically. The rage I experience is downright terrifying. Pure rage. I've never felt anything like it before. I start to experience headaches during that time, and I'm pretty sure it's due to the fact that I clench my teeth and jaw as a way to keep my mouth shut and not open and screaming. This rage has never been focused on Raina, but I have had to put her in her crib and walk away for many moments while I get myself under control and try to stop myself from reaching that point. Speaking of maintaining control, weepiness has always been a monthly happening, but it's never been something that I felt got away from me. Now, however, is a different story...I can't stop it like I used to. The best example I can give is the one day I was at the gym, jogging on the treadmill and watching Regis and Kelly do some special on moms, and I started to cry and couldn't stop. I had to pretend like I was wiping away sweat the entire time I was walking to the locker room, where I finally hid myself in a stall and cried. I struggle horribly with anxiety as well...nothing feels safe, I feel constantly out of control, as though I'm just waiting for terrible things to happen to me. Peaceful and restful sleep is hard to come by...because of the anxiety and racing thoughts, as well as the night sweats/hot flashes. I experience cravings like never before. I'm not just talking about a simple "Boy, a Snickers sure sounds good to me right now." I'm talking about a matter of a couple hours several times a day for several days where I have to eat and I have to eat everything (usually salty, sweet, salty, sweet, rinse and repeat...). There was one night where I went out to "run errands" but instead went to the store and bought food to eat in the car. It was chips followed by brownies followed by popcorn and then frosting. Now, I know I have issues with food...always have and probably always will...but NEVER have I had bingeing like this. It was to the point where I was piling it in my mouth so fast that I was out of breath. I try to hide it from Chris by doing it when he's not home or when I'm out of the house, but when the urge hits, it's as though I have no choice...I have to do it right then, no waiting and no matter who's around to see it. So, with the rage, anxiety, and out-of-control bingeing, I pretty much feel like I'm going insane during this time. I start to withdraw. I want nothing to do with people, whether they be friends or strangers. I want nothing to do with answering e-mails or phone calls. I want nothing to do with to-do lists or cleaning or watering the plants or taking out the trash or paying the bills or doing laundry or feeding the cats or showering or dressing in anything other than my PJs or doing anything nice with my appearance (add on to that the horrible acne that comes during this time, too. Joy.) Physically, it's no big deal. Yah, my cramps are worse than they used to be and they come every month now, but I can handle that with no problem. What's going on in my head, though, is too much. And it's for 2 weeks of every month. That's half the year. I can't do that.
...which is why I'm calling my doctor this week. I was going to do it today but then figured they'd be closed on the holiday. I've done some reading on PMS treatment and I think I found one that sounds good to me, but of course I need to discuss it with the doc first. The Pill is out of the question seeing as we want to start on baby #2 soon.
I feel so bad for Chris. This month has been the most intense for me so far, and maybe it was like that 'cause I was trying my hardest to keep it from Chris who was stressing out so much about his trip to Europe. He has definitely been getting the brunt of my "irritability." I've kinda told him how bad it's been for me, but there's really no way to do it justice other than to have him pull some kind of "Being John Malkovich" and actually getting into my head.
Anyways, my adventure with the doctor should be fun. Ha! I guess this is what I get for not believing in PMS!
Anyways, it's almost 8 and the baby is in bed, the house is clean (enough), and I still have 2 cookies waiting to be eaten before I start anew tomorrow. I finally broke down and set up the DVR to record "Maggie & the Ferocious Beast" for me. I love that show. Yah, it's for kids...but it makes me smile every time I watch it and that can be a rare thing depending on what 2 weeks of the month it is. Another kid TV show reference (that maybe only 2 of you out there will even get)...but I think Ruby of "Max & Ruby" is my hero. That girl (is there a term for female rabbit???) is the most patient being in the whole universe. She's an inspiration :)
I'm gonna end on a video that features Raina and her daddy (whom she has started to ask about several times a day now)...
Actually, before I get into that, let me catch up on the past couple days since I haven't written. My friend Michele was kind enough to share her company with us from Saturday afternoon to Monday afternoon. The days were filled with the baby, while our nights were filled with wine and junk food and wedding talk. Raina's aunt babysat Sunday afternoon, giving us a couple hours to ourselves. It was my first time away from Raina since Chris left. We went to the gym and out to lunch...very relaxing. Sunday, though, marked the beginning of the decline of Raina's mood. Now I think it's toofie-related...I gave her medicine all day today and she finally seemed back to her old self this afternoon. I got a good look in her mouth and I believe I see 2 bottom ones coming in. Poor thing. So that's about it...nothing really exciting happened. Tomorrow marks the beginning of being good again. I'm not going to be able to post a scale pic ('cause I still haven't figured out the camera), but I'll be honest in my report. It's not going to be pretty. That's a pretty good lead into my issue....
So, let me start this by saying that I totally understand if the president of my gender wants to revoke my chick card for saying some of the things I'm about to say. I deserve it. Also, any dudes out there, I warn you that this will be completely over your heads, so you might want to go build a saw horse or drink a beer or whatever instead. This is all about PMS.
I've heard of women having bad PMS before. I can't say that I ever really had a friend who complained of it too being too bad...I just heard stories. To be brutally honest, I thought the stories of anything more than mild moodiness and cramps were...well...bunk. I mean, mild moodiness and cramps were all I ever had...surely accounts of anything more had to be a cry for attention or a fantastic excuse to get out of doing whatever didn't want to be done. I'll admit to using "bad PMS" as an excuse to get out of ROTC's Saturday boot camp one time (yes, I was in ROTC...I thought it would be more fun than college Health & Wellness...yes, I was dumb!). So anyways, before having Raina, my PMS consisted of some mild irritability and I could probably count on one hand the number of times I had cramps in a year. The PMS symptoms never really bothered me...it was my actual period that was the pits and what I dreaded the most (I'll spare you the details!).
So that was my PMS before having the baby...not too bad...nothing I would ever really complain about...something totally over in just a couple days. Now, though? After the baby? OMG.
It starts 2 weeks before my period, always with a day or two of extreme fatigue. It just so happened that either Chris or Raina (or both of them) have been sick these past couple months during this time, and so I always attributed the fatigue to my catching whatever they had, and then I would be patting my immune-system-o'-steel on the back a couple days later when the illness didn't appear. I'm convinced now, however, that the timing is PMS-related, not illness. After the day or two of extreme fatigue comes the really good stuff, the scary mental stuff. "Irritability" doesn't do it justice. Everything is annoying to the point that I want to lash out physically. The rage I experience is downright terrifying. Pure rage. I've never felt anything like it before. I start to experience headaches during that time, and I'm pretty sure it's due to the fact that I clench my teeth and jaw as a way to keep my mouth shut and not open and screaming. This rage has never been focused on Raina, but I have had to put her in her crib and walk away for many moments while I get myself under control and try to stop myself from reaching that point. Speaking of maintaining control, weepiness has always been a monthly happening, but it's never been something that I felt got away from me. Now, however, is a different story...I can't stop it like I used to. The best example I can give is the one day I was at the gym, jogging on the treadmill and watching Regis and Kelly do some special on moms, and I started to cry and couldn't stop. I had to pretend like I was wiping away sweat the entire time I was walking to the locker room, where I finally hid myself in a stall and cried. I struggle horribly with anxiety as well...nothing feels safe, I feel constantly out of control, as though I'm just waiting for terrible things to happen to me. Peaceful and restful sleep is hard to come by...because of the anxiety and racing thoughts, as well as the night sweats/hot flashes. I experience cravings like never before. I'm not just talking about a simple "Boy, a Snickers sure sounds good to me right now." I'm talking about a matter of a couple hours several times a day for several days where I have to eat and I have to eat everything (usually salty, sweet, salty, sweet, rinse and repeat...). There was one night where I went out to "run errands" but instead went to the store and bought food to eat in the car. It was chips followed by brownies followed by popcorn and then frosting. Now, I know I have issues with food...always have and probably always will...but NEVER have I had bingeing like this. It was to the point where I was piling it in my mouth so fast that I was out of breath. I try to hide it from Chris by doing it when he's not home or when I'm out of the house, but when the urge hits, it's as though I have no choice...I have to do it right then, no waiting and no matter who's around to see it. So, with the rage, anxiety, and out-of-control bingeing, I pretty much feel like I'm going insane during this time. I start to withdraw. I want nothing to do with people, whether they be friends or strangers. I want nothing to do with answering e-mails or phone calls. I want nothing to do with to-do lists or cleaning or watering the plants or taking out the trash or paying the bills or doing laundry or feeding the cats or showering or dressing in anything other than my PJs or doing anything nice with my appearance (add on to that the horrible acne that comes during this time, too. Joy.) Physically, it's no big deal. Yah, my cramps are worse than they used to be and they come every month now, but I can handle that with no problem. What's going on in my head, though, is too much. And it's for 2 weeks of every month. That's half the year. I can't do that.
...which is why I'm calling my doctor this week. I was going to do it today but then figured they'd be closed on the holiday. I've done some reading on PMS treatment and I think I found one that sounds good to me, but of course I need to discuss it with the doc first. The Pill is out of the question seeing as we want to start on baby #2 soon.
I feel so bad for Chris. This month has been the most intense for me so far, and maybe it was like that 'cause I was trying my hardest to keep it from Chris who was stressing out so much about his trip to Europe. He has definitely been getting the brunt of my "irritability." I've kinda told him how bad it's been for me, but there's really no way to do it justice other than to have him pull some kind of "Being John Malkovich" and actually getting into my head.
Anyways, my adventure with the doctor should be fun. Ha! I guess this is what I get for not believing in PMS!
Anyways, it's almost 8 and the baby is in bed, the house is clean (enough), and I still have 2 cookies waiting to be eaten before I start anew tomorrow. I finally broke down and set up the DVR to record "Maggie & the Ferocious Beast" for me. I love that show. Yah, it's for kids...but it makes me smile every time I watch it and that can be a rare thing depending on what 2 weeks of the month it is. Another kid TV show reference (that maybe only 2 of you out there will even get)...but I think Ruby of "Max & Ruby" is my hero. That girl (is there a term for female rabbit???) is the most patient being in the whole universe. She's an inspiration :)
I'm gonna end on a video that features Raina and her daddy (whom she has started to ask about several times a day now)...
Friday, February 13, 2009
I'm a brunette now, so why can't I figure out my camera???
Sigh.
All it took was a reboot for my computer to finally acknowledge my camera. A lot of good that did me, 'cause now it tells me that there are no pictures on my camera even though I can see on the camera that there are. I'm so frustrated. Technology frustrates me. My inability to get it frustrates me.
Today was a little frustrating, too, but we got through day 3 as a twosome without too many scars...we had a lot of tears, though. Baby just couldn't seem to get into the swing of the day. She was okay early in the morning, but once nap time came and went without a nap, things just went kinda downhill for her. We cancelled a visit with a fellow mommy friend...there's just no point when she's that tired and cranky. She went down for a short afternoon nap, waking up crying and not stopping until about half-an-hour after waking up. Unfortunately for her, I had some errands I absolutely had to run. I know I'm lucky that I haven't had to deal with many store breakdowns with her, so I can't complain about the one she had today in Staples while I was faxing some documents. She cried and screamed the entire time...she even had 3 sales people trying to comfort her, but to no avail. To cheer her up, I took her to the pet store again, and I could tell that she appreciated the gesture. It helped that there were a lot of dogs in there today. I was looking forward to our scheduled Skype call with Daddy around 6, but 6 came and went and my efforts to keep Baby entertained failed miserably. By 6:15, she was practically begging for a bath. I'm glad I didn't make her wait any longer...it was close to 8 by the time Chris called. He's in Paris now...tomorrow is his first site-seeing day. I'm excited for him :)
My friend Michele comes tomorrow to keep us company. I'm very much looking forward to having her here. I just hope she's not bored to tears!
Pee kitty is still locked in the bedroom. Even though I don't like him, I am starting to feel a little sorry for him...but he'll live. He'll definitely live longer in the bedroom than if he comes out and pees on the floor again, that's fershur.
I'm itching to post pics so I'll have to settle for old ones since I'm still having camera issues. I dedicate these to the best daddy in the world :)
If she didn't have a dress on, she'd so be a mini-Chris.
Riding the Dad ride at the zoo last weekend.
We miss you!!! Kissy kissy.
All it took was a reboot for my computer to finally acknowledge my camera. A lot of good that did me, 'cause now it tells me that there are no pictures on my camera even though I can see on the camera that there are. I'm so frustrated. Technology frustrates me. My inability to get it frustrates me.
Today was a little frustrating, too, but we got through day 3 as a twosome without too many scars...we had a lot of tears, though. Baby just couldn't seem to get into the swing of the day. She was okay early in the morning, but once nap time came and went without a nap, things just went kinda downhill for her. We cancelled a visit with a fellow mommy friend...there's just no point when she's that tired and cranky. She went down for a short afternoon nap, waking up crying and not stopping until about half-an-hour after waking up. Unfortunately for her, I had some errands I absolutely had to run. I know I'm lucky that I haven't had to deal with many store breakdowns with her, so I can't complain about the one she had today in Staples while I was faxing some documents. She cried and screamed the entire time...she even had 3 sales people trying to comfort her, but to no avail. To cheer her up, I took her to the pet store again, and I could tell that she appreciated the gesture. It helped that there were a lot of dogs in there today. I was looking forward to our scheduled Skype call with Daddy around 6, but 6 came and went and my efforts to keep Baby entertained failed miserably. By 6:15, she was practically begging for a bath. I'm glad I didn't make her wait any longer...it was close to 8 by the time Chris called. He's in Paris now...tomorrow is his first site-seeing day. I'm excited for him :)
My friend Michele comes tomorrow to keep us company. I'm very much looking forward to having her here. I just hope she's not bored to tears!
Pee kitty is still locked in the bedroom. Even though I don't like him, I am starting to feel a little sorry for him...but he'll live. He'll definitely live longer in the bedroom than if he comes out and pees on the floor again, that's fershur.
I'm itching to post pics so I'll have to settle for old ones since I'm still having camera issues. I dedicate these to the best daddy in the world :)
Awwwww...just a few days old (as you can tell from Dad's wrist :)
Super cute.
If she didn't have a dress on, she'd so be a mini-Chris.
Riding the Dad ride at the zoo last weekend.
We miss you!!! Kissy kissy. Thursday, February 12, 2009
Early V-Day
So this is night 2 as a twosome. Last night was interesting...we had some pretty wicked wind, and the power ended up going out a little after midnight. The longest it stayed off was maybe 10 minutes, but it did the off/on thing for about 20. Basically, I was up and running that entire time. You see, Raina sleeps with a sound machine. It's either on the rain setting or white noise. By having her sleep that way, Chris and I can feel free to make as much noise as we want and not have to worry when the phone rings or a loud talker pays us a visit. Like myself, though, when the sound is turned off, she wakes up. She must have been totally zonked last night, though, 'cause she didn't wake up each time the machine turned off. However, when the power comes back on, the machine defaults (for some unknown stupid reason) to the rainforest setting, so instead of a nice peaceful steady rainfall coming through the speakers, you get instead squawking birds and insects...so everytime the power would come back on, I'd have to rush into her room to push the rain button before the Amazon would wake her. I lucked out...she slept through the entire thing. I had a hard time relaxing, though...there was a part of me that stayed on edge, just waiting for the power to go out again. I'm very proud of myself, though, in that I managed not to freak myself out...no thoughts of ghosts or little grays, though I will admit that the thought that bad men had turned off my power so that their break-in could go a little smoother did cross my mind but only for a second.
Raina was mostly in a good mood today. We went to the gym this morning. I did my lifting routine and picked her up in less than 45 minutes. The day care lady mentioned that Raina seemed sad and asked if she was sick or something. I explained about Daddy being gone, but I think she was just tired. She ended up taking a good nap when we got home. Once up, we went to Costco and got some grapes and strawberries, and of course she got her slice of Costco pizza. I tried to put her down for a nap in the afternoon, and for a few minutes it looked like I was going to get lucky, but she was having none of it. Once again, too, a poop ruined the moment for her. I HATE it when that happens! So instead, I took her outside in her stroller for a quick romp at the park and playground. It was extremely gusty, so it was only a 30-minute trip. Once home, she was obviously tired but it was too early to start dinner and her bedtime routine, so I had to keep her busy so she wouldn't fall asleep. She wanted nothing to do with the chicken quesadillas I made and instead wanted only strawberries (that's mommy's girl, all right!). Bathtime was quick and uneventful, and by the time she was dressed for bed, she was pointing to the crib, ready to go. That was the end of her day...and thus the beginning of mine...
Once she was down, off came the jeans, on came the sweats, and on came the face mask. I LOVE face masks. I love it leaving them on all night, even though the tube says to leave it on for only 20 minutes. I like the way it feels when it starts to dry and you can feel it start to crack when you move your face. Chris has had to learn to live with my walking around looking like a horror movie monster. I took a pic of my mask and had planned to upload it, but I can't figure out how to do that. Chris took my usual camera and left me with the super duper fancy one that I don't know how to use. Grrrrrrr. Oh well. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have it figured out.
In the mail today was a Valentine's card from Chris, with a little note saying that he had hidden chocolate in the living room for me and Raina. Sure enough, I found 2 big Hershey's bars. And sure enough, we ate them. Both. I figured my diet was thrown so far out the window today that a Yuengling tonight wouldn't hurt anything. It's been a while...it tastes really good.
So, as far as tomorrow goes, it'll be the gym in the a.m. and then hopefully a nap before lunch for baby, and then I think we'll be visiting a fellow mommy friend who's been kind enough to invite us over. I'm looking forward to the company and change of scenery.
Oh, before I go...kitty pee update: So, he did it again. I woke up to smell kitty pee in the dining room, and sure enough, right in front of Raina's big monkey toy, soaked into the blanket I had down on the floor, was a big smelly pile of pee. I really hope for y'all's sake that this stops 'cause there's nothing that drives me crazier. I'll perseverate allllll day and night about this, really I will. My mother-in-law suggested a re-training method that I've decided to try. It involves locking him in one room with a box and food and water. Unfortunately that has to be the bedroom, but I'm willing to try it. We've tried so many other methods in the past, and obviously none of them have worked. If he pees on the bed, though, so help me...
Serenity now. Serenity now.
Raina was mostly in a good mood today. We went to the gym this morning. I did my lifting routine and picked her up in less than 45 minutes. The day care lady mentioned that Raina seemed sad and asked if she was sick or something. I explained about Daddy being gone, but I think she was just tired. She ended up taking a good nap when we got home. Once up, we went to Costco and got some grapes and strawberries, and of course she got her slice of Costco pizza. I tried to put her down for a nap in the afternoon, and for a few minutes it looked like I was going to get lucky, but she was having none of it. Once again, too, a poop ruined the moment for her. I HATE it when that happens! So instead, I took her outside in her stroller for a quick romp at the park and playground. It was extremely gusty, so it was only a 30-minute trip. Once home, she was obviously tired but it was too early to start dinner and her bedtime routine, so I had to keep her busy so she wouldn't fall asleep. She wanted nothing to do with the chicken quesadillas I made and instead wanted only strawberries (that's mommy's girl, all right!). Bathtime was quick and uneventful, and by the time she was dressed for bed, she was pointing to the crib, ready to go. That was the end of her day...and thus the beginning of mine...
Once she was down, off came the jeans, on came the sweats, and on came the face mask. I LOVE face masks. I love it leaving them on all night, even though the tube says to leave it on for only 20 minutes. I like the way it feels when it starts to dry and you can feel it start to crack when you move your face. Chris has had to learn to live with my walking around looking like a horror movie monster. I took a pic of my mask and had planned to upload it, but I can't figure out how to do that. Chris took my usual camera and left me with the super duper fancy one that I don't know how to use. Grrrrrrr. Oh well. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have it figured out.
In the mail today was a Valentine's card from Chris, with a little note saying that he had hidden chocolate in the living room for me and Raina. Sure enough, I found 2 big Hershey's bars. And sure enough, we ate them. Both. I figured my diet was thrown so far out the window today that a Yuengling tonight wouldn't hurt anything. It's been a while...it tastes really good.
So, as far as tomorrow goes, it'll be the gym in the a.m. and then hopefully a nap before lunch for baby, and then I think we'll be visiting a fellow mommy friend who's been kind enough to invite us over. I'm looking forward to the company and change of scenery.
Oh, before I go...kitty pee update: So, he did it again. I woke up to smell kitty pee in the dining room, and sure enough, right in front of Raina's big monkey toy, soaked into the blanket I had down on the floor, was a big smelly pile of pee. I really hope for y'all's sake that this stops 'cause there's nothing that drives me crazier. I'll perseverate allllll day and night about this, really I will. My mother-in-law suggested a re-training method that I've decided to try. It involves locking him in one room with a box and food and water. Unfortunately that has to be the bedroom, but I'm willing to try it. We've tried so many other methods in the past, and obviously none of them have worked. If he pees on the bed, though, so help me...
Serenity now. Serenity now.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Keeping my promise
Well, at least one of them. I know I've made several others to a lot of you out there that I haven't done all that great with...but that's for another blog.
So....dropped Chris off at the airport today. I didn't start to tear up until he did. I'm pretty good at not missing people. I know that sounds horrible...don't misunderstand...of course I'll miss him...but I think my life as a military brat has kind of numbed me to the process of people going away. Probably only makes sense to fellow brats. Anywho, my single-momness started around 1:30, and so far so good :) The weather today was AWESOME, so baby and I walked to the park and played for a bit. She had a rough afternoon (darn poop woke her up from her only too-short nap), so I took her to the pet store before dinner. That always cheers her up. She went down for bed and then woke up crying about 30 minutes later, but a hug and bottle later and she's back down again, this time for good (fingers crossed). I've finished cleaning the downstairs and think I'll settle with a bag of popcorn and wait for Top Chef.
Some noteable happenings...my diet is kaput for now. I was doing so well, too. I actually got down to 167...I have a pic of the scale and everything...but with my issues (I promise to get into that in another blog) and unstableness of Chris leaving, something had to give. Oh well. I'm okay with it. I'll start back tomorrow...kinda. Monday is always the best day for that! I had my training session at the gym. It was fantastic! Once Chris gets back, I'll probably try to do my lifting before he wakes up and then do my cardio when I can drop Raina off at daycare. I can't wait until the weather gets nice and I can just run outside in the evenings. For the next few weeks, though, I'll be rushing to get my lifting done while Raina is in the gym's daycare and then try to get the cardio in here at home on the treadmill after Raina goes to bed. Once Chris gets back, he's only here for a few days before he has to leave yet again for Florida...but that won't be so bad 'cause I know I'll be joining him at the end!
Fozzie Bear has started to pee again. In case you're new to me and/or my blog, I really can't think of anything that drives me more crazy than cat pee. I hate to say it...it's painful for me to admit 'cause I LOVE animals....all animals...but I don't like Fozzie Bear. I just don't like him. If I didn't have Chris, I wouldn't have that cat. It's funny 'cause I was the one who pushed to take him in a few years ago...but had I known he had this problem, I wouldn't have. I can't do cat pee. To make matters worse, he peed right in Raina's toy. There are no words to describe how I felt when I discovered it. He's lucky he didn't do it a few days ago when my issues were in full effect. I don't know that he'd be with us today. I'm getting worked up...I have to leave this...
I took Raina to the zoo yesterday. It was empty...and thus FANTASTIC. I let her crawl around the aquarium for a long time while I walked behind her. We only ran into one other mom and her son. Raina had a blast. We went as a family on Saturday...this is a pic from then...
So, I don't have much going on tomorrow...the gym in the morning...Costco in the early afternoon...who knows what later on. Friday it looks like I'll be visiting a friend, and then Saturday through Monday, a friend is staying with us. I'm very much looking forward to the company. I need it.
Anyways, popcorn calls. Be back tomorrow.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
My excuse...kinda
So I've been gone for a while. I'm not coming back just yet. To be honest, I've been in a state. Believe it or not, I don't like to complain, which is why I've found avoidance to be working out quite well for me. Well, not really, but that's what I'm trying to convince myself! I feel kinda weird talking about it...I'll pause while those of you who know me well GASP in disbelief ("Jess not divulging? Holding back on TMI? Whoa, something's not right here.") I know, right?!?
Anyways, real quick...The hubby leaves for Europe on Wednesday and will be gone for what seems like most of the month but really is only for 10ish days. I'm promising that I will be blogging every day while he's gone. I'll repeat that: EVERY DAY. Certainly sometime within that timeframe my issues will come out!
So, until then, I'll leave you with some cute baby videos :)
Anyways, real quick...The hubby leaves for Europe on Wednesday and will be gone for what seems like most of the month but really is only for 10ish days. I'm promising that I will be blogging every day while he's gone. I'll repeat that: EVERY DAY. Certainly sometime within that timeframe my issues will come out!
So, until then, I'll leave you with some cute baby videos :)
This is actually old, from around Christmas-time.
She still laughs when she plays with the kitties but not like she's laughing here.
She still laughs when she plays with the kitties but not like she's laughing here.
This is her new "DADDY!" game.
She likes to pick up our bottles and cups, pretend as though she's drinking, and then smack her lips like she's just had something incredibly tasty :)
Last one. A fun game of peek-a-boo :)
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