This Santa guy

This is Raina's first Christmas where she has enough brain cells to know that something is going on. She notices all the pretty lights outside (and inside, as well). She knows that there is an increased chance of seeing boxes containing "Presents!" sitting out on our porch when we open the front door in the afternoon. She knows that snow makes "nice happy snowmen." She knows that there's this Santa guy who brings presents to good boys and girls, wears red and white, has lots of white hair on his face, and says HoHoHo. Mostly, though, she knows that Santa's reindeer make lots of pees and poops (thanks, Pittsburgh Zoo reindeer!).

The Dormont rec center held a cookies-with-Santa event over the weekend, so of course we had to go and check out Santa. Over the past several days, we had been pointing out all the images of Santa and talking about his clothes, how he likes to laugh, his pets, how he's super nice, etc. I had no delusions that she would run into Santa's arms like he was her long-lost friend. I'm not even going to try for a pic of her in Santa's lap this year. No way! So instead, we just sat on the sidelines and watched other boys and girls sit in Santa's lap. She never smiled at him...but she also didn't cry. That's a start, right?

Here's me trying to convince her that Santa's a good guy...she's considering it...



She has this tendency to play with my hair when she's nervous...luckily I'm not high-maintenance :)

Completely unrelated...here she is all bundled up. She calls this her "happy birthday coat" 'cause she got it as a b-day present from her Papa T and Mama T. Red is a good color for her :) Let me just say, too, that putting gloves on a 2-year-old is way easier than a 1-year-old!

So yah, nothing much else going on here. I finished putting up the Christmas decorations this evening. As I was doing so, it occurred to me that this was the first time since Raina's birth that I'd really been able to put out so many decorations -- she's past that stage of putting things in her mouth or touching things she's not supposed to touch -- and that it'd be the last time for at least a couple more Christmases because of Phoebe. It was just kinda weird to think about.

I think I'm done with my Christmas shopping, too. Well, at least as far as presents go. Once it gets closer to time, there will be a lot of grocery shopping trips. We're having 3 Christmases here this year, so there will be lots of cooking and baking to do. I'm looking forward to the baking :)

Pregnancy-wise, my belly enters the room about 10 seconds before I do. Tee-hee. Either Phoebe is smaller than what Raina was at this time or she's just more laid-back. I remember being in pain from Raina's movement. Phoebe moves around, but nothing like Raina did. It could also feel differently because I have more cushioning this time around. I had forgotten what it was like to have a belly like this. I've been fat before, and to a certain extent, you can move fat around. There's no moving a pregnant belly. It's like having a bowling ball stuck to your abdomen. Putting on shoes that require more than simply looking down and slipping my feet in is simply no fun. On a TMI note, I'm growing skin tags. Not cool, people. Totally not cool. I just rip them off. I've heard that it's a pregnancy thing, but that doesn't mean I have to let them grow rampant on me!

On that note, I'd like to end with a video of my little girl counting backwards. I learned a couple months ago that she could do this, but it came as a surprise to Daddy about a week or two ago. She loves to count backwards from 10 and then yell "Blast off!" as she lets her balloons go. (Family-- Don't look too closely...there are unwrapped presents all over the background!)

Daddy withdrawal

Today was Daddy's third day back to work after being off since last Wednesday. Daddy's little girl had the time of her life while Daddy was home...it was like a 5-day play fest. Apparently Raina is having a tough time re-adjusting to her life of Va-Va during the day and Daddy at night. She's making it clear that going back to the way things used to be is completely unacceptable. Over the past 2 days, she has developed a new cry...that only comes out when Daddy is around. She's also turned the tables as far as when she decides to act up. It used to be that she'd be a terror during the day with me and then sweet as an angel as soon as Daddy entered the picture (thus making me look like a total fool!). Well, it's the opposite now...Daddy gets quite the show when he comes home while I'm left standing there asking "Where did this come from?!?"

Tonight's dinner was especially dramatic. After crying for a really long time, we finally got her to sit at the table but only if we moved her chair right by Daddy. She then proceeded to eat her dinner with her head on Daddy's shoulder, throwing a fit any time he dared pull away, even if only to reach for his drink.

What funny creatures these 2-year-olds are. She's lucky she's cute ;)



(sorry for the bad quality of this vid...not enough light...)

Halloween, Birthday, Christmas, and melancholy vampires...

I figured out that the main reason I've been putting off this blog post is because of a feeling that I was expected to be super thorough...and when I start to feel that way about anything in life, it becomes an all-or-nothing situation...with nothing winning more times than all. I've heard that's a common flaw in perfectionists. Anyways, I've counted to 10 and practiced some deep breathing and decided that life as I know it will not end if I just summarize the past month of going-ons. Rather than all-or nothing, I'm going to go with the something-is better-than-nothing approach instead :)

So. Halloween. As you may or may not know, I put my sewing talents (ha!) to the test and made Raina's costume this year: Foofa. What? You don't know who Foofa is? Then you obviously don't have kids...or smoke pot. This is Foofa, probably the least annoying of all the characters on Nick Jr.'s show "Yo Gabba Gabba:"

I used long pink pants and a long-sleeved pink shirt that Raina already had as the under part of the costume and then made the poofy body suit, white flower petal neck piece, and then glued a big flower to a hat she already owned. Wouldn't it just go freakin' figure that she refused to wear the whole costume?!? She wanted NOTHING to do with the flower petal neck piece. This is what our Foofa looked like:


Notice the less-than-happy expressions. Yah, she had a rough time with the whole Halloween experience. We spent it at Gramma's house in Erie. Whereas our neighborhood here in Pittsburgh doesn't get many kids, Gramma gets hundreds. She'd get super excited when the kids would come to the door, but the minute they left, it was nothing but tears and screams of "More again!" Needless to say, there was a lot of off and on crying, which eventually turned into just crying. Thank goodness for small towns and fire trucks on display right down the street, which cheered her up right away :)


Halloween weekend was also the weekend we celebrated her second birthday, also in Erie with Chris' side of the family. I spent the majority of the weekend baking and decorating Raina's cake. I did a 3-tier topsy-turvy style cake, Yo Gabba Gabba themed of course. I wasn't overly thrilled with the outcome 'cause it came out looking like exactly what it was: A canvas piece to practice many techniques, not all of which should ever be used at one time on one cake. I wish I had pics of it after I took the ribbons off...it looked a little calmer after I did that, but oh well. These pics show the gist of it...


As for the party, we had an excellent turnout of Chris' family...many generations represented. Raina did well, all things considered. She's such a shy and cautious little girl when it comes to social situations, especially ones that involve people interacting with her, but given some time to warm up to everyone, she did pretty well. We had been singing Happy Birthday to her for a couple weeks before her birthday, and she loved singing along...but when everyone started to sing for her at the party, you'd think she'd never heard the song before! (but several times while opening presents, she asked everyone to sing it again :)

After singing and cake came opening presents...

All in all, a great birthday with great company. Who could ask for more?!?

On to other things...

Turkey Day...Looks like we're spending way too much and getting an Amish turkey this year. Chris has this thing this time around of wanting a turkey that "tastes like turkey." Um, okay. Whatever. It all tastes the same to me. So long as he cooks it, I don't care! We're still not sure what kind of company we're having, but I hope it's at least someone. It's always more fun when you have people to share the food with...and pawn the leftovers off to!

Christmas...I am getting super excited about Christmas!!! It's been a long time since I've been hit with the Christmas spirit...I think 3 years now, maybe? Chris doesn't like hearing this, but I hate not having my own money to buy gifts with. Chris will tell me that "his" money IS "my" money, but I know it's not. He works hard for that money. I feel like such a leech to just take it and spend it. This year, however, things are different. Craigstlist is coming through for me!!! There is actually CASH in my wallet, cash for me to spend on gifts for my family. That means SOOOO much to me, to actually be able to participate the way everyone else will, to actually get to go to the stores and pick something personal out, etc. I'm so excited that I've had the urge to put up Christmas decorations, something I've NEVER done before Thanksgiving. As final proof of my newfound spirit, check out my homemade Christmas wrapping paper this year (I've already wrapped 3 gifts :)))) I decided to go for presents that could also double as decorations...


Now for some random stuff...

I've decided that, despite my love for Edward Cullen, I will not be seeing New Moon. The books are great (in that they are a great escape, not necessarily literary works of art), but sorry, the movies suck ass. Well, at least Twilight did. And yah, Robert does make for nice eye candy, but the Edward in my head is just soooo much better. Someone explain to me, too, why there's no such thing as a happy vampire in love? Would it hurt them so much to smile more? Anyone watch Vampire Diaries and know what I'm talking about?!? Yah, brooding is sexy but only to a certain degree. That's my rant on that.

I'm getting super fat, but I'm pleased to announce that I'm embracing it. I'll admit that I still get a little shocked when I catch a glimpse of my ass in reflection form, but I very calmly remind myself that, come May, that ass will be in bootcamp, and then I feel better and go about my way to the fridge. As for Phoebe-to-be, she's doing a lot of kicking, the peak of which is between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Usually I'm not sleeping then anyways, so it's not an issue...though I have had a couple nights where the kicking has gone on longer and I haven't been able to sleep through it. Nothing painful yet, like when I was pregnant with Raina...but I remind myself that I still have several more months to go! I had to go to the lab today for the glucose tolerance test and blood draw, but so long as I pass that, I think I might be done with the tests. I think. It's amazing how much you forget in 2-1/2 years. I can't even tell you how far along I am right now. Somewhere in the 6th month, maybe? Beats me.

As for Raina, she's 2. "No way" seems to be her most-used phrase as of late. Tantrums are many. However, I'm thoroughly enjoying being able to hold a "conversation" with her. It's amazing the words she's picking up and the stories she can tell. She loves to sing; however, to go along with her cautious nature, she's also very self-conscious and mostly whispers the songs to herself. I already put up one vid of her singing...here's another:

One thing I'll be doing differently when Phoebe comes around is forcing people to take more pics of me with my little girls. While looking through all our pics the other night, Chris made a comment about how there are so few of me with Raina. It's sad. On that note, I took a couple last night of the two of us. I'll end on that :)

I know, I know

I'm so behind. I owe the family birthday AND Halloween pics/vids/stories. Honestly, when my evenings come, when Raina is snug as a bug in her bed, all I want to do is, well, NOTHING. Okay, not totally true: Eat and then nothing. And then eat some more. (Good lord, I can't wait until bootcamp in the spring!)

Anyways, once again I'm going to try to promise to catch up with everything this weekend. Until then, this vid will have to hold everyone over...a little Twinkle Twinkle, ABCs, and Happy Birthday. :)

Raina 101

• Favorite artists/songs (or "Raina kongs," as she calls them): Black Eyed Peas, Pitbull, Taylor Swift, Jason Mraz, Mylie Cyrus, Five Chinese Brothers (that one is from Chris' collection). The others are not from my collection...just what's played on the radio in the car!

• What she'll say if you ask her where she went today: "The zoo." Runner up: "Mall."

• Favorite food: "Mall pizza."

• Favorite thing to do with Daddy: Dance.

• Favorite thing to do with Va-Va: Play "bowl and water," a.k.a. wash dishes.

• Favorite TV show: Yo Gabba Gabba.

• Favorite movie: Wall-E.

• Favorite toy: Trains.

• Favorite words/phrases as of late: "Raina come." "Raina try, too." "Raina help." "Too" in general, meaning "also." "Kitty mess in kitchen." (Thanks, Chloe) Generally followed by "Va-Va wash it." (*sigh*)
  

• Favorite tune sung by Va-Va and Daddy: Happy Birthday (always to her friend Mikayla and sometimes herself).

• People she calls when playing pretend phone: First Mom-mom, second Gramma, third Daddy.

• Her newest blush-worthy "obsessions": Demanding "powder on butt." And anything having to do with "boobies"...counting boobies, pointing at boobies, touching boobies. I've been mentally preparing my apology to the first stranger to become victim of this fascination with boobies.

• Most adult thing she does: Demand privacy when she's pooping.

• Favorite article of clothing: Her "pretty tights." She always wants to "Show Daddy!" after I get her dressed in the morning.

• Something I wish she'd learn to do: Lick her fingers after eating Cheetos. That's the best part, but she insists that "Va-Va wash it." Yes, I give her Cheetos. What of it?
  

• What she thinks is in Va-Va's belly: "A boy."
  

Newest pics:

Hangin' out with Daddy, learning about football.

Hangin' out in front of Daddy's work, waiting for Daddy to come out.

Newest vids:

Picking Daddy up from work...

We've started training her...

Fun at the farm...

More fun at the farm...

Pics for the fam

It's been a while, and so much has gone on around here. I'm knee-deep in cake batter while I try to practice my mad-hatter cake skills before Raina's b-day, so I don't have the time to do a proper blog. Here are a few pics to hopefully hold the grandparents over until I can put up an insane amount of vids :)

Here's Raina trying her hand at pumpkin painting. We did this on a day where we were stuck inside because of the weather. VERY rarely do we not go out SOMEWHERE in the morning. The painting time started off very well...she was very excited...but about 20 minutes into it, there was nothing but screaming and tears. Severe cabin fever must be hereditary.



We went to a farm one weekend...one that had a tractor ride and petting zoo and pumpking patch and all sorts of other neato stuff. The petting zoo was BY FAR her favorite attraction there. She got up close and personal with goats, a pig, a rabbit, ducks, and chickens. We brought home 2 pumpkins (which I'm still in the process of "decorating") and a batch of apple cider that made both mom and dad a little, um, yucky in the tummy. Raina, too, for that matter! But it was good :)








Here she is at her friend, Mikayla's, 1-year b-day party. Since that day, she has become quite enamored with the Happy Birthday song and insists that we sing it all the time (with Mikayla's name!).


That's all for now.

It's official: Bye-bye, baby. Hello, toddler.

So I decided Thursday that I was going to perform an experiment on my baby. Operation Big-Girl Bed was to take place during Friday's nap. Now, by big-girl bed, I mean taking her crib mattress and putting it on the floor. Nothing too fancy. Don't bother asking me why I decided to do this. I have no clue. It's not even like I've really been concerned about where baby #2 is going to sleep. Sure, I've given it some thought, but I haven't felt rushed to kick Raina out of her crib. To tell you the truth, I was just curious as to how she would handle the experience.

I started her Friday by talking up the big-girl bed and getting her help with setting up her mattress on the floor. She was quite excited with the whole process. While we went out shopping that morning, we made quite a big deal about all the pillows and blankets and anything else bed-related that we saw at the store, just getting her even more stoked for her afternoon nap. By the time nap time rolled around, she was READY, informing me herself after lunch that it was time to sleep. I took a few videos of the moments leading up to and after her nap.........

Here she is showing me how she was going to sleep. Not quite the traditional position, but oh well! She ended up staying in this position for her entire 2-plus-hour nap.


And here she is right after waking up...

Anyways, SUCCESS! I never dreamed that the experiment would go so well...that she would STAY in her bed for over 2 hours and sleep. I think I was more excited than she was. It was mere minutes after her waking up before I was on craigslist looking for a toddler bed. By 9:30 that evening, I was pulling the van up to the house with a Little Tikes car bed in the back :) Chris was in charge of baby duty that evening while I was out, and he told me when I got home that Raina got very upset and cried when she was put in her crib and not the big-girl bed for the night. I could not wait for her to get up in the morning so we could put it together.

Fast-forward to this morning...

I told her right after she got up that there was a present downstairs for her. It was in pieces in the dining room and hard to tell what it was, but when I told her it was a big-girl bed that looked like a car, she was all "Upstairs! Go, go!" She wouldn't even eat her breakfast...I had to bring it upstairs to her room and force her to nibble on it while she watched me put her bed together. Her squeals of excitement woke daddy up (who was supposed to sleep in), and with his help, we got the car bed set up and the crib taken down. Was she excited? You tell me...

While Daddy took her out to Starbucks and to a friend's house to play, I did a little more baby proofing and re-arranging. Bye-bye, crib!




I'm thrilled to pieces over the whole experience. It's always neat to see her get so excited about things. Daddy, on the other hand, could probably use some counseling. Like with the passing of the bottle and waking paci, he expressed some resistance to the change. It's hard seeing your little girl grow up...but very fulfilling, too :)

My Level 1 cakes

Well, as you may or may not know, I've been taking cake decorating classes at Jo-Ann's. This month was Level 1...four classes, two hours each. I was able to attend the first three classes, having to miss tonight's last class because of the stupid G20 making my husband work longer than usual. Grrrrrr.

Anyways, I've had requests for pics, so here they are. Remember that I'm a beginner!!!

So this was decorated during the last 15-20 minutes of the second class. No joke on the time given to decorate! I think only 2 of us "finished" the darned thing, and I only finished 'cause I was determined to have something to show for the hours spent making all that different colored icing. Everyone had to do the same pattern, but obviously the writing and colors of the rainbow were different with each person.




This was decorated during the last 25-30 minutes of the third class. What is up with not giving us more time to decorate?!?!? This project could either be a cake or cupcakes. Most did cupcakes. As you can see, it was a serious rush job, but I am proud of one thing. The cake "pattern" we were working from showed only the two clowns on top. I added the third....





.....climbing up the back of the cake. He's a little squished from the drive home in the car, but you get the point. Creative, I thought ;)










This is the cake we were supposed to decorate in class tonight. White with pink pastel roses. Ummm, pretty but not really up my alley. I decided over the weekend that I was going to do the same thing (pretty much) but in black and white instead. The teacher did say we could be creative and change the, ummm, color of the roses. Ha! Oh well!





So I timed myself as I sat at the dining room table tonight, and I decorated this cake in 25 minutes. Unfortunately, tonight was the night we were really going to learn how to make roses, and I could have desperately benefited from the instruction. I hate to say that I kind of half-assed this, but I did. I just wasn't feeling it...probably due to not being able to make it to class :(





In the beginning, I was worried that a black cake (black icing as opposed to sleek black fondant) would look unappetizing, but I think it looks good enough to eat.










I'm looking forward to being able to take Level 2 in October...and then Level 3 in November and Level 4 after that. So anyways, if you'd like a free cake made by a beginner, give me a call. I want the practice...and how can you beat a free cake?!? :)

Speaking of cake, I'm off to eat mine now...

One more vid and pic

I took both of these tonight. We have a sick baby...lots of boogies...and a permanently implanted finger...


..but that doesn't stop her from playing pretend with Daddy and loving every second of it. :)

Vids for the fam

I plan on catching up with this blog thing later this weekend but thought it would be best to post all the Raina vids separately. So here goes....enjoy, grandparents!

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This is Raina playing her favorite game of "zshih zshu!" That's "Get you!" in adultese. This one also shows her love of kissing boo-boos. It's amazing how a kiss can make it allllll better. Also, that run she does towards the camera in the beginning...she does that a lot. It creeps me out...reminds me of a zombie :)

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For several weeks now, Raina has been able to count to 10. Maybe this is what all kids her age can do...beats me...she's my first, so I'm clueless!...but it never fails to impress me when she does it. I have to coax it out of her in this video, but she counts spontaneously ALL the time. For example, we went to the playground yesterday, and she had to count to 10 every time before she'd go down the slide.

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Nothing much happening in this one...just her cool hand motion for when she says "move" and then a glimpse into the daily struggle of understanding what the heck she's trying to say.

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Very rarely does Va-Va make an appearance in a vid, but here I am. Whoopee. Chris blames Raina's love of being tickled (in the good way, not the Chinese torture way) on me. I love a good tickle :) This vid doesn't show it, but most times when you tickle Raina, she completely zonks out...eyes get all glassy, posture totally relaxes...until you stop, then she's pointing to where she wants tickled, grabbing your hand, and saying "more."

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And now for pics...

Here she is with all her friends and the backpack we have to carry around in order to make sure they go everywhere she goes.











Here she is at the train tracks. She loves trains. Lucky for us, we live within walking distance of the T.















Here she is riding the camel at the zoo...

















...and playing in the zoo's Kid's Kingdom.

















She found this huge leaf at the zoo and wouldn't let it go.

















I make this face, too, when I'm really enjoying my ice cream :)

I love you, craigslist!

So, I sold 7 old art books for $50 the other day on craigslist. Old as in had since college and never used...not old as in ancient and thus valuable.

The day before making this sale, I saw this long ad on craigslist...

*********************

This is a large lot of baking and cake decorating supplies. Right now I am selling the enitre lot together. It includes:

New in Box:
***5 piece stainless steel mixing bowl set- was given to me and box is a little smashed but bowls are still in plastic wrap and appear fine
***The Friendly Lion shaped cake pan- paper instructions/ideas guide inside the pan is ripped, Wilton
***Christmas Tree Cookie Treat Pan- plastic wrapping is a little ripped off, Wilton
***Cooks and Chefs 10 Piece Gift SIlicone bakeware & Rack Set- these items were bought from the HSN and that's the box they come in. It includes 5 pans/molds and 4 chrome wire racks for the pans. The 10th piece, a spatula, is missing.
***Nonstick Cake-Sicle Pan- box has been opened but item never used
***Wilton Dessert Decorator- box opended but item never used
***Wilton Singles- Tree
***Wilton Singles- Candy Cane
***Wilton Singles- Snowflake
***Baker's Secret- Santa face Pan
***Wilton Bunny Pan
***Pampered Chef Bread tube- flower
***2 Baker's Secret- mini swirl pan, 1 has tags still attached and 1 does not
***2 Wilton Jack-o-Lantern (pumpkin) Singles
***1 pack of 50 Cars cupcake baking cups
***Wilton Cookie Stamp- bunny

Used- no box:
***3 small terra cotta look "flower pots"- these can be used to serve dips, etc... but originally came w/ a bueberry muffini mix kit.
***1 large of the same thing as above
***set of metal measuring spoons
***8 inch plastic layer holder for layer cakes, Wilton
***1 small round cake board
***1 cake slicer/leveler- cord looks twisted but pulls tight when in proper position
***Sugar Plum Decorating Kit by Wilton- older cake decorating kit w/one 12in pastry bag, 19 tips, 2 couplers, and 1 flower nail- all older but defintiely useable. this was givne to me so I can't say for sure that everything that should be in this kit is in fact there. I've listed what is included.
***Wilton Pumpkin/jack-o-lantern pan- thin so best used for cookie cakes
***Wilton Mini Pumpkin pan- makes 12 muffins, cupcakes, brownies, etc...
***Wilton Foaming mug cake pan
***2 mini heart cake pans
***candy mold- turtles- needs to be washed well
***candy mold- small hearts with arrows- also could use a good wash

Used- in box
*** Mini Bake and Fill kit by Betty Crocker- used once

New- no box
***4 Wilton Show- N-Serve cake boards 14in X 20 In
***10 Wilton cake circles boards for 8 or 9 inch round cakes
***Wilton flower cake pan- never used but no instruction sheet inside
***about 20 small blue plastic favor holders
***2 packs (8 each) jar toppers kit
***about 20 clear plastic bags for candy
***Candy mold- Blues Clues- have instruction sheet/paper backing but it came off so I didn't list it as "in box"

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All for only $45.

$45, people. OMG. In case you don't know, I'm taking cake decorating classes and my bakeware (what little exists of it) sucks big time.

Check out what I brought home today:


That's what I'm talkin' about!!!

It's perfectly natural to feel jealous :P

Anti-sentence

budget night. ugh.

cake decorating class wednesday p.m. yay!

house guests this weekend. super messy house. ugh.

$50 coming my way thru craigslist ad. yay!

new awaken-from-nap routine:



Labor Day weekend escape by myself?

Not to perseverate...though I totally am...

This was me at about 5+ months preggers with Raina...





Nevermind that I never lost the last 25 baby pounds before embarking on #2...my baby bump is the same size now at 13 weeks as it was last time at 20+! Give me a couple more months and I'm totally giving up on maternity clothes and just going to rock the muumuu.



They come in long-sleeved for the winter, right?

Woe is me, first-world style

Our dishwasher is broken.

(Pause for melancholy violin music...fade out....)

Ugh. I have a hard enough time keeping this place clean as it is! We would run that thing at least once a day, usually twice a day. It's gonna be quite a while before we can afford a "new" one. I'm trying to stay positive. Maybe this will save us a little bit on our water bill...??? Argh.

What better cure for the blues than watching a baby dance? This is Raina dancing to her Yo Gabba Gabba music. She's also singing along, saying "dance" out loud and then mouthing some of the other words. This vid doesn't do her justice...it's pretty toned down from what she normally does (shoulder shakes, butt drops, body wiggles, spins) but you get the picture.

Actually, it's been a while since I've posted vids, so here's a couple more for the grandparents to smile at...

Here she is with Fozzie Bear...

Here she is at the zoo...

And here she is at a banjo concert...

On the mommy/daddy front, daddy is taking banjo lessons every Thursday evening. I've given up my dreams of getting my hands on a free piano and have now added a used full-size, weighted-key, piano-ish keyboard to my Christmas list. In the end, that makes more sense anyways...volume control, ya know. If I do ever get one, though, I will have my own night of lessons, as well. Speaking of lessons, it's looking good that I'll be taking those cake decorating classes in September. I'm going out tomorrow night to price out the supplies. They only want $27 for 4 weeks of classes, but I don't have a solid idea of what the cost is for everything I'm required to buy. If it's "reasonable," I'll register on the first of the month and have class every Wednesday evening for 2 hours.

I had my first trimester screening yesterday. Ultrasound and blood work. Everything looked okay, but part of the screening also includes yet another ultrasound and panel of blood work in another month or so. I'm already up to 3 ultrasounds! Pregnancy-wise, I'm struggling with nausea. It's at its worst when I'm trying to sleep, though I did have almost an entire day of it over the weekend... hardly ate anything. Chris is totally bummed about my cravings this time around. With Raina, it was steak. I've never been a fan of steak, so I never eat it much...but when pregnant with Raina, we were eating steaks more than once a week. Chris was in heaven! This time around, I'm really not feeling the meat thing. Chicken is especially revolting, unless it's in something creamy or it's fried. Steak doesn't do it for me either. I'm cool with tofu and maybe ground beef, but mostly it's pasta and grilled cheese sandwiches...and junk food, of course.

I'm guesstimating this pregnancy to end at 220. I'm telling myself that I'm okay with that! Bootcamp, bootcamp, bootcamp!!!

If I were to win the lottery (a big one)

Aside from paying off all our bills and parents' bills and good friends' bills and maybe getting my eyebrows professionally shaped, I'd spend my free time taking classes. Not Harvard-ish classes...more like basketweaving-ish.

I found a level 1 cake decorating class that runs every Wednesday next month in the evenings. Assuming I can afford it, I think I'm gonna do it. Aside from the appeal of being a pregnant chick around loads of icing and cake, I think it'll be fun and something fun I can do with/for my family. I feel like I need to commit to doing something for ME. That's okay, right?

I hope it works out. I'm excited. You should be, too...you could one day get a cake specially made by moi and my mad skillz...

Things on my mind tonight...

I wonder where the camera charger is? I swear that thing is lost more than it's ever found.

What in the world am I going to wear to this weekend's wedding? Nothing fits me. I'm gonna be seated at a table with gorgeous, fit, successful women while I'm bursting out of my too-small pseudo-fancy clothes, singing Yo Gabba Gabba songs in my head.

I like sour cream. I think I may eat more tonight....though I should probably have it with some chips and melted cheese.

OMG, I totally need to start getting on my treadmill at night.

Maybe that will be easier now that all my shows are starting back up again. Top Chef was last night. Project Runway is tonight. I'm interested in Glee and some show about seeing into the future...I forget what it's called. Then there's a new season of ANTM and House. Yah, the DVR should be getting super full soon...no reason why I can't use that as an incentive to get on the treadmill.

Last night was the best night of sleep I've had in a while. I estimate that I slept about 4-5 hours. Not consecutively, of course, but I only got up to pee twice and I had dreams, so I definitely got some deep sleep.

Next to dancing, the cutest thing Raina does is sing along to her Yo Gabba Gabba songs. I don't know why, but singing along to songs doesn't seem like something she should be able to do right now. That's like a 4-year-old's skill in my head! It's super cute, though.

I'm thinking about leaving town for a weekend to hole myself away in a private place so I can work on Raina's baby book and maybe sleep, sleep, sleep.

I have my first-trimester screening on Monday. Ultrasound and bloodwork. For some reason, my new OB/GYN (for the moment) is making me go to a geneticist because of the (distant) history of Down's in Chris' family. Didn't have to do this last time, but oh well. Chris is coming, and for that I'm extremely grateful.

Traffic was really bad in Pittsburgh today. Is there something going on???

Tomorrow is veggie day. Hope we get good stuff. Our portion of the bill is due soon. Ha!

I wish I could take piano lessons. I wish I could get over my aversion of keyboards. There's just something about a real piano...

You would not believe how fast my eyebrow hair grows. I was bad at maintaining it before. Now it's just hopeless!

I want to get out of the house tomorrow, but I don't know where to go. It's hard to go to the mall and pass by the cookie and pretzel stands.

All I want for my b-day next year (a few weeks after baby is born) is money to put towards 2 months of bootcamp. Oh yah, baby! Since Chris wants to stop at 2, then I'm determined to get rid of all this extra padding. Besides, that's an hour a day every day for 8 weeks that I'd get out of the house :)

Sour cream time. There's a party in my tummy. So yummy, so yummy...

Rant

Sigh.

Here we go again.

I "fought" a lot with my last OB. He was Indian, and there were some definite cultural issues...let's just say that things went more smoothly when Chris did all the talking for me. Fine...I was okay with that...so long as I got what I wanted...and had Raina not been oppositionally defiant, I probably would have. All I wanted: A "natural" birth. By that, I mean getting to feel some contractions and having a vaginal delivery, all of this occurring when the baby and my body decided it should occur. For those of you who don't know, Raina was breech and I had to undergo a C-section...all of that after fighting with my OB against induction and an early one at that.

I know this is going to sound crazy to 99.9% of you. Fine. Nothing I'm not used to already. But I am completely unable to say that Raina was "born." I've never used that word to describe what took place. Instead, it's that she was "taken out" that day, or I simply say her birthday is November 2nd, or if I'm feeling particularly flowery, I'll choke out the "she came into this world" business. But born? No. Not in my screwed up head.

Some women dream about their future wedding day and honeymoon down to the last minute detail. Not me. Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that having only one child was a form of child abuse (no offense to people who choose to have only one child...I just found it hard being horribly shy and forced to move every 9 months to 3 years, never establishing permanent and long-lasting relationships with friends or family members...); thus, I always dreamed of the becoming-a-mommy experience, knowing that I would have 2 or more. I never really dreamed about the pregnancy part. That's probably a good thing, considering how much I don't really enjoy it! It was always the labor and delivery that excited me...the water breaking in some public place, the frantic, yet totally ecstatic, phone call to my husband to let him know it was "TIME," the totally allowable/socially acceptable screaming and cursing that would take place during the actual labor, etc., etc. (Thank you to TLC and Discovery Health Channel for all that they contributed to my day dreams over the years!)

I've never come to terms with my C-section. I feel horrible when I share my experience with moms-to-be who might have to undergo one. I'm the last person in the world who should be talking about it publically. But the truth is: I feel cheated. How selfish is that?!? I know it is. I KNOW it's about safely bringing a baby into the world...safely for both baby AND mom. I know this. I know the most important thing is the end result, my wonderful daughter. I KNOW this, too. For some reason, however, I have a hole in me from the experience (and a crooked scar).

And now my OB is already talking about making that hole even bigger.

I had to get a new OB since my old one moved away. After meeting with my new one a couple weeks ago, I was excited. I liked her a lot. At the very first visit, she asked what I wanted: a C-section or a V-BAC. When I said V-BAC, she said we'd have to monitor my progress but that she didn't see any reason why it shouldn't be an option. Fantastic! Just what I wanted to hear. Fast-forward to two days ago, when I met with her again. The subject of a V-BAC came up, but this time she mentioned that I would be induced and not allowed to go past my due date.

WTF?

I have this tendency to shut down when I hear something I don't like, so at the time I internalized what she said and nodded and smiled and went home feeling okay that at least everything was going okay so far (even though my uterus is "big," but whatever, so's my ass...it's all proportional for the time-being). But then that night, when I'm unable to sleep, everything she says comes back to me and the hole starts to open up. Why is it too much to ask that my body be allowed to do this when it feels ready? It's like I go through 9 months of having absolutely no control over my body...even my body has no control...the fetus is the 5-star general giving all the orders...and at the one moment my body has its time to shine, the doctors swoop in and take all the control away again. Listen...if there's a medical reason...a GENUINE medical reason (as opposed to a we're-doing-this-to-cover-our-asses-so-you-won't-sue-us-in-the-extreme-rare-case-that-something-were-to-go-wrong reason), I wouldn't stand in the way of medical intervention. A healthy outcome is ultimately what I want. HOWEVER, if it's really not medically required, why then? Why induce me? Why not let me go past my due date? Why, why, why??? But ultimately, the docs will have their answers and my worry-prone husband will agree with them, and once again I'll feel swept under the rug while my baby is artificially born.

I wish someone understood. It's so hard to put into words, but the fact that my chest aches and my eyes tear everytime I think of it should attest to how important this is to me. This isn't the rant of an emotionally unstable pregnant chick. This is the rant of a woman who just wants to be allowed to be a woman in the truest of all senses.

Sniffle. Sigh.

More pros

I have 2 more items to add to my list of pregnancy pros.

5. Upgrade from flat pancakes to (somewhat) ripe melons :)

6. Being able to play the "I'm pregnant" card. Thanks to my mom for reminding me of that one.

Not as long as the con list...but getting there.

Bye-bye nuh-nuh, Phase 1

Nuh-Nuh:

Now that Raina's verbal vocabulary (as opposed to signing vocab) is increasing, I've begun to see the need to get rid of the pacifier. It's a scary thing to me. I'll admit to relying on it for purposes other than self-soothing on Raina's part (translated: It was a quick and easy way to make her quiet...though, when put that way, I sound like the worst mom EVER). Anyways, after her daddy returned from a work trip that had him out of town for several days, I decided to start the process. Phase 1 consists of confining the nuh-nuh's use to just nap and bed times. It's been about a week now, and I'm amazed at how smoothly it's going. In her crib we have placed one of her stuffed animals (a monkey) that's actually shaped like a basket. It's monkey's job to hold her nuh-nuhs safe and sound until it's time to sleep again. We tell her this before taking her out of her crib, and I have yet to encounter an absurd amount of resistance. She usually very matter-of-factly agrees with my assessment of monkey's trustworthiness and hands her nuh-nuh over graciously. I can count on one hand the number of times tears were involved. Also surprisingly, she very rarely asks for it during the day, and when she does, I simply remind her that monkey is holding onto them until it's time to sleep because Raina is a big girl and big girls don't need their nuh-nuhs, to which she'll say "yah!" and continue about her business. I have to admit that I've been tempted to tuck one in my pocket at certain times...this morning's visit to the ultrasound clinic being one of them...ya know, just in case...but she was good (for a 21-month-old :). The saga will continue, I'm sure.

As for baby #2, I got to see him again today (and yes, I think it's a boy). He's still in that peanut-looking stage...not all that "interesting"...but I found myself a little more enthralled today because of how much he was moving around. Raina wasn't that active so early on. Is it silly to already be worried about how much this little bugger is going to hurt when he gets bigger?!? Well, I am!

It's Chris' b-day tomorrow. We have this tradition...the b-day boy or girl starts saying "It's my birthday" about a week before the actual b-day so as to extend b-day benefits for way longer than they should be extended. Well, I didn't do that for my last birthday...I was probably too busy with baby stuff...but Chris has started tonight. Granted, not the week as is our custom, but he's making up for the late start by being, um, overly obnoxious about it. Case in point: I just had a brain freeze and asked him "How to you spell obnoxious?" to which he replied "J-e-s-s." I'm a little bitter seeing as how I didn't get these benefits for my last b-day, but I'm gonna let it go with a smile and just pile it on extra extra thick next April. Extra extra mega thick.

Why?

Why are guys so weird? Especially when it comes to their nails?

Case in point:


I'm sitting on the couch, minding my business while obsessively watching the news coverage of the shooting that took place at my LA Fitness...when I look to my left and see a pile of nails neatly contained between a strip of packing tape.

What the heck?

Sorry to call you out on this, babe, but that's just weird...though I have to admit that I like it better than the random pile of uncontained nails. The tape is a nice touch.

pros and cons

I'm feeling a little "eh" today about being pregnant. These past several days have probably been the hardest so far. Thankfully, my mother was in town for most of them. Today, however, I was on my own (with a little help from Chris, who just returned from Vegas last night and but was pretty much the walking dead all day). Today has been a lot of feeling yucky...a little nausea, a lot of cramping, a teasing headache, and an overwhelming feeling of just wanting to curl up in bed and stay there all day. You can imagine how Raina objected to my even entertaining that thought. I find most of my thoughts centered around the yuckiness of being pregnant. A lucky few of you were with me during my last pregnancy blog. Good times, right?!? Ha. Anyways, to try to offset some of this negative thinking, I've decided to sit down and write out the pros and cons of pregnancy that I'm experiencing now at a measly 9+ weeks. OMG, only 9+ weeks!!! Sigh.

Let's start with the cons so I can end on the silver lining...

Cons of growing a loveable parasite:

1. Feeling exhausted/having no energy

2. Insatiable hunger/incredible weight gain ("incredible" as in Ripley's-freaky incredible, not winning-the-lottery incredible)

3. Funky skin (this time around, I not only have the wonderful zits but also the white bumps on my arms)

4. Cramps. I know it doesn't sound bad, but cramping during the 1st trimester elicits nothing but fear from us already emotionally unstable pregnant chicks. Which brings me to...

5. Emotional instability. Pretty self-explanatory.

6. Being unable to fit into any of my clothes. Kinda my fault, though. A couple months back, when I was actually on my way to losing the original baby weight, I got rid of all my "fat" clothes. Sigh.

7. The farting. Ha, who am I kidding! That's fun :)...except when it's in public. I don't know much about the farting habits of other pregnant chicks...none of my super close friends have either been pregnant yet or talked to me about it...but my pregger farts remind me of surprise parties. They're like the people hiding behind the couch who jump out with no warning and yell "surprise!"

8. Dr's appointments. Actually, I wouldn't mind them so much if only I knew what to expect at each one. Specifically, whether I'm going to be subjected to an internal. Since I don't know what's coming, I spend the night before the appointment "preparing" for an exam; not an easy thing to do when I'm suffering from the exhaustion/lack of energy and #9...

9. Freakishly fast hair growth. Seriously. I'll shave my legs one day and less than 2 days later it's already past the stubble stage and into the soft furry stage.

10. Nose bleeds.

11. Inability to sleep at night. This didn't happen until later into my second trimester last time. It's been going on for weeks now.

12. Peeing nonstop. Once again, this didn't happen until later into my second trimester last time. Last night, I got up and peed 6 times between 10:30 p.m. and 7 a.m. That's been a regular thing now for several weeks.

13. Put most of these together, and it equals this last one: Feeling like the most disgusting/ depressing person in the world to be around.

The pros:

1. Being able to park in the "expectant mother" space. And yes, I do, even at only 9+ weeks.

Wow. This is already hard...

2. I'm gonna count fast hair growth as a pro...but only in the sense that I've completely resolved to grow my head hair out.

3. Farting?

4. Not having to change the kitty litter...as much.

Ummmm....

This isn't helping like I thought it would.

I've sat here for 5 minutes now, unable to think of anything. That sucks. I know the pros will increase, especially when I can feel the little bugger moving, but I just have to get through these next several weeks the best I can. As do hubby and baby. It'll probably be harder for them than me.

Feel free to send me presents. Those always cheer me up.

;)

Nothin' but vids...

Like I promised yesterday...(if you can't see vids, it's because you're in facebook...gotta go to www.momwithoutaclue.blogspot.com)

This was taken during those huge storms that hit the Pittsburgh area several weeks ago. She was scared at first but then got into it.

The sea lions are one of her favorite things at the zoo (FYI, they have a baby one now, too).

Don't know why exactly, but throwing rocks into water gets her really excited!

This is her Aunt Goo (pianist/violist for the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra).

This is during our 3-hour car ride back from NY. She was supposed to sleep. She decided to stay up and say "va-va?" (that's her version of "mom" for those of you not in the know) the entire time instead. And yes, my eyes are on the road...this was taken completely blind, over the shoulders :)

Nothin' but pics...

I had a good day. Wait...let me clarify...baby had a good day today; THEREFORE, mom had a good day :) She was cheerful and fun, without a single tantrum for most of the entire day, only breaking down around dinner/bedtime. I know I complain a lot about her, um, challenging mood sometimes, so I thought I'd dedicate today's blog to recent pics of my happy baby. Next time, it'll be nothing but vids!

This one reminds me of Wilson.

Getting ready for our Father's Day bike ride. It's crazy to think that some day she'll be as tall as he is :)

Enjoying Reese's on our Father's Day picnic.

Making her special face at the play ground.

Throwing rocks into Chautauqua Lake.

Swinging at the Dome.

She could have thrown rocks into the lake all day!

At a Lake Erie beach with Dad, once again throwing rocks.

Holy crap, there's mom!

Wrapping the grandmothers around her finger.

Telling Aunt Goo to put the piano to bed.

Buttering dad up for a car of her own.

Playing dress-up in genuine Indian clothes purchased by one of Chris' Indian co-workers.