My exercise vid for moms

So, I'm on the 6-week countdown until I start teaching fitness classes. Don't even get me started on the anxiety associated with that. It's another post for another day.

Anyways, I'm trying to cram "training" into every free moment of my day. As any mom knows, free moments are few and far between...and then when you do find them, energy and motivation seem to have exited the building.

I'm spending the next 3 weeks pretty much just focusing on cardio; the 3 weeks after that will focus more on class-specific training. One of my goals is to get a DVD workout in at least 3 times a week during nap time.

Ahhhh, nap time. What an unpredictable, crazy beast it is.

My 55-minute DVD only got 20 minutes of play time today...which got me thinking about REAL exercise vids for moms.

Here's mine...

The vid would be taught by a semi-frumpy 30-something woman (with good posture, though!) who would assure you that there's no need to change clothes. I mean, you're already wearing sweatpants and a tee, right? Simply slip on a sports bra (or a tight bra that doesn't fit well but you're hoping will within the next couple months with a tight tank over it). The warmup consists of squats combined with triceps extensions, coming down into the squat and reaching down and out to pick up a toy and then throwing it behind you until you clear the floor for your workout. About 3 minutes into the workout, you'll be instructed to high-knee it to the kid's room to enforce nap time (or quiet time); then high-knee it back to the TV. Now that you're warmed up, she'll start the functional training with some lunges and curls. At about the 7th rep, she'll kindly tell you that she'll wait while you lunge-walk to the kitchen to grab some carpet cleaner so you can clean that spot of who-the-hell-knows-what that you've been staring at with every down motion of your lunge. As you create yet another off-colored patch in your floor covering, she'll serenely talk about how in 15 or so years you'll get to buy all new STAIN-FREE furniture and rugs. With that positive thought in your head, you excitedly lunge-walk back to the kitchen to return the carpet cleaner to its child-proof home under the sink (eh? child-proof? hmmmm...). You then hear the volume automatically increase as she reminds you while you're in the kitchen that you forgot to take the porterhouse steak out of the freezer to defrost for dinner, so go ahead and just take out a pound of ground beef instead and have tacos again. Jog in place while you do this, and listen to her tell you the word for "tacos" in Swedish so you can try to convince the family that tonight's meal is NOT the same as yesterday's (maybe add some food coloring to the taco shells?).

Anyways. You get the point.

Argh.