Mom Without a Clue

The calm before the storm...

2012-01-21T21:17:00.003-05:00

In less than a month, we will be living in another state. Knowing me, it'll be another 6 months before I ever get the chance to post here again. Better get some now while you can...

Our new family "thing" - Bowling!

Another fun thing at the bowling alley...

Angry Birds - MY fun thing.

You do what you gotta do when it's too cold to play outside.

Eating at the mall.

I can hear her asking this when she's 15...and I can hear myself having the same answer :)

Raina's Christmas program at preschool. She's the giant in stripes :)

Playing x-mas morning

Something to go with our dress-up stuff...

Pheebs looking beautiful

A daddy, his iPad, and his girls

Christmas sugar high (which apparently reduces 4-year-olds to speaking in baby talk)

Putting the 20-m-old to work

Sisters playing together is like 2 cats grooming each other: It starts out all nice, but ends in a cat fight.

How Pheebs dries off her palms :)

What a mom does when she has no idea what to do with the kids, doesn't care about other shoppers, and needs diapers anyways. Sorry, ToysRUs customers.

Those kids I have

2011-09-05T21:24:00.003-04:00

Videos galore :)

Mom-cation 2011

2011-08-14T20:37:00.004-04:00

So, on Friday, August 12th, around 5 p.m., I said good-bye to the fam and traveled 15 minutes down the highway to the Courtyard Marriott where I had a room reservation for 2 nights. ALL BY MYSELF.

View out window. Close to all sorts of STUFF.

You can bet your bottom that the

do-not-disturb sign went up the minute I got there

First night: LONG shower, shaved (hence the longness of the shower), colored hair, painted toenails, plucked eyebrows, ate some dark chocolate, watched Dinner For Schmucks on HBO (giggle fest), read a little, and took some sleeping pills (which totally didn't work because of the all the caffeine I drank that night and the fact that I'm still recovering from a really bad UTI).

Saturday: Got out of bed around 10, went to a yard sale and then got seriously lost for about an hour (thanks to Pittsburgh detours that just kinda forget about you halfway through the detour), took a 4-hour nap (ahhhhhhhh), visited the new LA Fitness and got a visitor's pass so I could work out, read the paper and people watched in the hotel lobby, ate a Wendy's salad for dinner, saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes in the theater, read a book, and then took another sleep aid. Damn UTI again.

Oh, let's not forget the little "fight" with the hubby...
Hubby: "I told the girls you'd be coming home Sunday morning."
Me: "WHAT?!?"

OMG

Sunday: Took my precious time getting out of bed and packing (checkout was at noon, my ass was out the door at 11:55) and then proceeded to run errands until 3.

I learned a lot...

1. Pussy willows are awesome. Actually, I've always known that...I even have some in my home. I just always forget they're there, which is sad 'cause they're one of my favorite plants. I need to pay attention to and appreciate the small things.

2. I need to stop feeling bad for splurging on nice things every once in a while. So what if we can't pay a few bills this month or have to live on Ramen for the next couple weeks?!? $109/night got me a really nice room and maybe I deserved it. Um, right?

3. I need more friends. I felt lonely at one point and wanted to talk to somebody, anybody, maybe even go out for a drink, but the only number programmed in my phone was the hubby's work number. I had no computer, no facebook, no means of connecting with anyone. I cherished that at many points during my weekend, but when the moment hit that I wanted someone, boy did it suck to realize I didn't have them. I think I need to put myself out there more, make more of an effort to connect with people, stop perseverating on the feeling that I don't fit in anywhere.

4. I apparently have lost the ability to relax. All weekend I worried about what was waiting for me when I returned home. The laundry, the dishes, the dust bunnies, the monotony. I could not clear my mind of it all. I don't quite know how to deal with this one.

5. My Starbucks habit could pay for a gym membership. So, to that end, I have decided to break up with Starbucks and start a gym relationship. I visited 3 gyms with kid klubs, narrowed it down to 2, and plan to drag the kiddos to both of them this-coming week for a trial run and sign the papers by the end of the month. If I quit Starbucks totally, I'll actually be SAVING money by joining a gym. That's some fancy budgeting right there.

6. I love going to the movies by myself. I need to do it more. Perhaps put up a calendar and label one Sunday afternoon per month as Matinée Day.

Did I have a good time? Yes. HOWEVER...I think I went into the weekend with expectations that were way too high. I have to admit that I thought this weekend would fix me. That it would unscramble that part of my head and heart that has felt so funked up lately. That I would have an "ah-ha!" moment, find my patience once again, shed the elephants that seem to be forever roosting on my shoulders, see the chocolate container as being half FULL.

I didn't come away with any of that, but that doesn't mean the weekend was a waste (my god, at $109/night it COULDN'T be!!!). I feel as though my reserves have been filled. Maybe not to the top, but something is better than nothing. I can look back on my weekend and remember some pretty awesome things...the feeling of stretching out on a bed all of my own, the lack of a baby monitor whirring in the background, the novelty of living in a space with no toys or kid paraphernalia littering the floor, the freeness associated with total privacy...

Hopefully those memories can hold me until Mom-cation 2012...

An artist I am not, but I try...in cake...

2011-07-04T19:27:00.006-04:00

Dance recital

2011-06-18T20:33:00.004-04:00

Raina's dance class has come to an end. Today was her dance recital. Pics and vids were not allowed during the performance :( ...so you'll just have to make do with the pics we took right before we left (as we're running sooooo totally late!).

She has hair, people! Do you see??? Curls, curls, curls everywhere! I only had to wait close to 4 years :)

She did great at her recital. She added some cuteness at the end by being the last of her dance group to leave the stage...very, very slowly and with a mighty march. We will be spending the $30-some for the official video of the entire recital. We have to, right?!? Right.

Where does time go???

2011-05-09T10:54:00.008-04:00

So yah...Pheebs turned the big 1!

We just returned from a vacation to North Carolina. It's our plan to move there some day, so we wanted to scope it out. I tried as hard as possible to keep the kiddos to their nap routines, and this is what I had to build in each hotel room in order to do so. I came prepared with twine and sheets.

Our hotel rooms very quickly came to resemble our home...

We visited the Lemur Center in Durham. It was when Pheebs should have been sleeping. She was cranky and throwing fits. I think it's pretty plain on my face that I'm wishing the darned tour would just be over already!

Got to visit some family. This is Aunt Sue, my Dad's sister. It was her first time meeting Pheebs and only the second time seeing Raina. Despite what the pic shows, Raina actually had a good time :)

I swear there were times I felt they were possessed. I think the trip was too long!

Also got to spend a couple hours with my mom. Can't wait until we live only a couple hours away...

While Chris was attending a security conference in Raleigh, the girls and I found a playground to enjoy. We got some stares. They probably thought we were albinos.

Poor thing was so over-tired for most of the trip.

While in Charlotte, we visited the Raptor Center...basically a little bird zoo.

We drove down in 2 days...back home in 1. These were the best moments... :)

Pheebs' safe place in the yard (no grass)...

On Mom's Day, I cleared off the porch so it doesn't look like a cross between a day care and a yard sale...but, of course, I left the water table (or "wa-wa [insert squeal]" as Phoebe calls it).

We got this playground last summer, but Raina wasn't really interested. She is now, thank goodness!

A few days ago, I bought this house off craigslist for only $25. On Mom's Day, I planted Raina's garden with the seedlings she started inside and also made her a vine tee-pee.

And this is my latest cake creation. A mommy friend asked for a globe cake with yellow flowers for her 2-y-o, who was celebrating her b-day with our planet. Check out mom's blog at http://www.humanmama.com/. She even wrote a piece about me :)

In real-quick other news...Pheebs has started standing on her own, but still no steps. I have 2 (OMG, 2!!!) cakes due the weekend after next that I'm actually going to make money from. And Raina is just the happiest kid alive now that the weather is nice and she can play outside. I look forward to a summer full of walks, playgrounds, play dates, and maybe even a little color to my pasty white self!

This might be a LOOOOONNNG summer

2011-04-07T16:11:00.003-04:00

I took my little princess (my youngest one :) outside today to experience the sun, warm temp, and crazy scary green stuff covering the ground.

She better get over this!!!

This is while watching her most favorite baby sign language DVD. She'll start out in a chair or by the couch, but within minutes, we're pulling her away from standing right in front of the TV.

Hanging out with Fozzie Bear

She was severely cranky today, which you can kinda see in her eyebrows here.

Feeling better with the green stuff not touching her

Pics and vids for the grandparents and lurkers

2011-03-14T20:35:00.003-04:00

It's been a while...and I know these could cheer up a few of you out there...

(It's heavy on the Pheebs in honor of her upcoming birthday :)

Reading together...

Phoebe self-applauding every time she pushed the red button to pop up the panda.

Afternoon walk (which Raina was actually excited about)

Yay for consignment shops and $5 tunnels!

Hamming it up at the dinner table

Adding a little cheese...

And a little more :)

Practicing her spoon/fork techniques

They're finally starting to play together...it's cute...but inevitably gets ugly!

The vid to go with the photo above...

I think it's a cruel trick that babies can go up steps before they can walk!

Our zoo friend

Ripping tissue paper with Aunt Emily

New toy

"Gentle" is not a concept she understands just yet...

At that dirty phase...

Ending with my favorite funny face :)

Rules

2011-02-25T13:44:00.002-05:00

Rules. Sometimes I think I have too many, but most times I think I'm lacking. "I'm" as in me. Rules that are selfishly driven because they'd help my sanity. Rules like:

1. ALL eating must be done at the kitchen table. Is it that I enjoy having the handy-vac permanently attached to my right hand? Do I find some pleasure in constantly worrying about what Phoebe just picked up from the floor and put in her mouth? Is it my way of graciously inviting that which I fear the most, a.k.a. ANTS?!? Do I feel as though the damned cat doesn't puke enough?!?

2. Mom must shower daily and wear PJs as clothes at most only once a week. I take the time to dress my children well enough so that they don't look as though they're hurting for cute clothes. They have their bath nights. The husband showers daily and gets to wear comfy business casual attire. Why do I have to stink? Why do I have to look dumpy? Why do my legs and arm pits have to be so soft? And I don't mean in the "ooooh, what soft skin!" way...I mean in the soft furry way. Why do I put myself so low on the priority list? Why can't I take care of myself without feeling guilty???

3. Other adults in the house must help with chores. Once again, guilt is the reason this rule is not enforced. Because of this, laundry is never caught up or put away, the vacuum cleaner collects dust (as well as every surface in the house), and every nook and cranny is a disorganized mess. Perhaps contributing to why I feel as though I'm a disorganized mess...??? You already have some sense of what state my nook and crannies are in.

4. Mom and Dad should have a date night without the children at least twice a month. Guilt yet again plays into this one. The last thing I want to do is ask family and friends to sacrifice their plans so that the hubby and I can enjoy our relationship as husband/wife/friends (not parents) for a few hours. And my God, do you have any idea what "professional" babysitters cost?!? OMG!!! But you know what? I'd give up the fancy cable or the emergency order-pizza-nights-'cause-the-kitchen-is-too-dirty-to-clean in order to fund some time with my man.

I've been overcome lately with a feeling as though I need to get my sh*t together.

I'm promising myself right now that I'm going to start that...

...next week.

OMG, I totally went there

2011-02-14T20:13:00.005-05:00

It's one of those deep, dark secrets that moms never reveal: They have a favorite child.

GASP!

Puh-leeze. OF COURSE every parent has a favorite. We're only human after all. I'll admit it: Pheebs is my favorite. Now before you get your panties all in a bunch, understand this-- Having a favorite doesn't mean you love one child more or less than another. Well, I guess it does for the "bad" parents out there, but I'm only talking about us good ones! I love both my children, but here's the difference...I'm loving babyhood MUCH MORE than toddlerhood. This toddler phase is kicking my ass. Raina doesn't like me for most of her waking moments, fights with me about every freaking little thing, wants nothing to do with my offers to help, and cuddling with me is out of the question. Phoebe, my little 10-m-o, on the other hand, thinks I'm the center of the universe. She LOVES me. She NEEDS me. She is reduced to tears whenever I'm out of her sight or touch. She reaches for me when in the arms of someone else. She crawls at top speed to get to me when I'm across the room. She rests her head on my shoulder and hums as I hold her, occasionally lifting up to give me a sloppy kiss.

Now seriously, how can that NOT be my favorite?!?

I'm enjoying it for all it's worth now 'cause in a few short months she's sure to figure out that Dad is the coolest person alive and I'm, well, not.

Video catch-up

2011-01-25T20:04:00.002-05:00

Hopefully this works. Blogspot has not wanted to post videos for me lately :(

Most of these are just of Phoebe playing. I could watch her play all day. Raina never played with her toys. OK, "never" is a strong word...she played but really not all that much. Pheebs plays all the time, so it seems like a new thing to me!

Picture catch-up

2011-01-23T18:39:00.006-05:00

Soon will be video catch-up...

Back in the saddle

2011-01-12T21:01:00.001-05:00

So yah, after an almost 4-year hiatus from teaching, I'm starting up again.

Am I ready?

Absolutely not.

Am I terrified beyond belief?

OMG, absolutely.

Am I excited?

Yah, I think I am :)

So, whether you'd like a good workout or just want some quality time with me (ha!), feel free to give CCAC your money and join me! Only 4 more weeks to go.

Visit this link for more detailed descriptions of the classes. CCAC inappropriately named a couple of them for me because the names I chose were already taken. Anyways...

http://shopcommunityed.ccac.edu/Courses/Fitness_Health_Sports_Recrea.aspx

Mondays:

6:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Yoga With A Kick

7:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Fitness Bellydance

Wednesdays:

7 p.m. - 8 p.m. Strong and Toned

8 p.m. - 9 p.m. Mommy Time

Thursdays:

7 p.m. - 8 p.m. Personal Conditioning Weight Training (this is one that I didn't even propose...they just gave it to me without even talking to me about it first!)

8 p.m. - 9 p.m. Fitness Bellydance (another session)

My exercise vid for moms

2011-01-03T14:09:00.004-05:00

So, I'm on the 6-week countdown until I start teaching fitness classes. Don't even get me started on the anxiety associated with that. It's another post for another day.

Anyways, I'm trying to cram "training" into every free moment of my day. As any mom knows, free moments are few and far between...and then when you do find them, energy and motivation seem to have exited the building.

I'm spending the next 3 weeks pretty much just focusing on cardio; the 3 weeks after that will focus more on class-specific training. One of my goals is to get a DVD workout in at least 3 times a week during nap time.

Ahhhh, nap time. What an unpredictable, crazy beast it is.

My 55-minute DVD only got 20 minutes of play time today...which got me thinking about REAL exercise vids for moms.

Here's mine...

The vid would be taught by a semi-frumpy 30-something woman (with good posture, though!) who would assure you that there's no need to change clothes. I mean, you're already wearing sweatpants and a tee, right? Simply slip on a sports bra (or a tight bra that doesn't fit well but you're hoping will within the next couple months with a tight tank over it). The warmup consists of squats combined with triceps extensions, coming down into the squat and reaching down and out to pick up a toy and then throwing it behind you until you clear the floor for your workout. About 3 minutes into the workout, you'll be instructed to high-knee it to the kid's room to enforce nap time (or quiet time); then high-knee it back to the TV. Now that you're warmed up, she'll start the functional training with some lunges and curls. At about the 7th rep, she'll kindly tell you that she'll wait while you lunge-walk to the kitchen to grab some carpet cleaner so you can clean that spot of who-the-hell-knows-what that you've been staring at with every down motion of your lunge. As you create yet another off-colored patch in your floor covering, she'll serenely talk about how in 15 or so years you'll get to buy all new STAIN-FREE furniture and rugs. With that positive thought in your head, you excitedly lunge-walk back to the kitchen to return the carpet cleaner to its child-proof home under the sink (eh? child-proof? hmmmm...). You then hear the volume automatically increase as she reminds you while you're in the kitchen that you forgot to take the porterhouse steak out of the freezer to defrost for dinner, so go ahead and just take out a pound of ground beef instead and have tacos again. Jog in place while you do this, and listen to her tell you the word for "tacos" in Swedish so you can try to convince the family that tonight's meal is NOT the same as yesterday's (maybe add some food coloring to the taco shells?).

Anyways. You get the point.

Argh.

November/December

2010-12-20T08:38:00.007-05:00

Thought I better get some pics up before the family comes in a few days so I don't have to hear "You haven't posted pics on your blog in forever!"

:P

My cake helper

I heart legwarmers

Sisters

Raina's new bed and painted room

Fun with makeup

Cakes/cupcakes...

Going into business. Kinda. Maybe. I dunno.

2010-11-14T20:01:00.003-05:00

Self-doubt. It sucks.

Especially when it comes to finding a purpose in life. I'm not talking about anything deep and metaphysical. Just a job. Something other than mom stuff.

In less than 3 months I start teaching again. Don't even get me started on how completely and utterly unprepared I am for that. I should be getting in shape, losing 30 pounds, and coming up with material for 4 classes. I'm not, mostly 'cause of the whole self-doubt thing, which is totally stupid, I know, 'cause at least this teaching stuff is something I've done before. I should know that I can do it. There are even people out there who tell me I'm somewhat okay at it, so that should make it easier. *sigh* I'll get it together, I will. I'll start tomorrow. Ha.

Now, however, there's talk of me doing something else, too. Cake stuff.

I love decorating cakes. Around a year ago, I went to a wedding and had the fortune of sitting at a table with a woman who just happened to have pics of her cakes with her. She's a teacher and decorates cakes on the side. She passed her pics around, and we got to talking about her hobby. A couple months later, I enrolled in a short and simple cake class at JoAnn's and since then have had the opportunity to make a few cakes for friends. I love it. It's my escape. It's my time to tune out the loud children, the messy house, the mounds of dirty laundry, and just focus on making something pretty or whimsical.

At the urging of some friends, I am venturing into "business" territory. I am getting to the point where my very limited number of friends are running out of cake occasions. Come mid-December, I have nothing on my cake calendar. So sad. To that end, I am making business cards. I am also the proud (and hesitant) owner of cakemomster.com. Cake Momster. That's me.

Ugh.

The whole process is scary. And really, like I have the time for this? For business cards and website design?!? And then comes the self-doubt. Can I even do this??? Ugh.

All that being said, I might as well show off my latest creation, a Toy Story cake for Raina's friend, Wynnie, who turned the big 3 this weekend. Other than the TS characters, everything is edible.

All I see are the imperfections. I SOOOO wish I had the money and time to make 2 or 3 practice cakes for each project. I learn so much the first time around, so many things I'd do differently. Oh well.

I dunno. Are there people out there who want this kind of thing? And more importantly, will they want me to do it?

I hope so. But then again, I kinda hope not.

Self-doubt sucks.

Birthday!

2010-11-14T19:40:00.003-05:00

Can you believe Raina is 3? I can't. Really. It's crazy!

Three of Raina's friends came to the house for a little art party followed by cake. Four toddlers makes for a little chaos, so I'm afraid I didn't get many pics. Here are a couple...

Mmmmmm. Cupcakes.

Each girl got to decorate their own. Very serious business.

One of the art stations.

Raina's "favorite things" cake.

Complete with edible me, daddy, Phoebe, Fozzie Bear, Maggie, Hamilton, Ferocious Beast, a giraffe, Eve, a dog, pizza, cupcake, and ice cream cone. And then, of course, the big cupcake.

Bye-Bye, October

2010-10-31T20:31:00.007-04:00

Raina, Daddy, and Phoebe went to the grand opening of the new Babies R Us/Toys R Us combo store and met Sunshine Bear,

...and Wow Wow Wubbzy,

...and Brobee!

This year, Raina was a kitty and Phoebe was a snowman.

Raina showing off her kitty assets. Get it??? :)

The costume even shed like a real kitty.

My Halloween chocolate cauldron of pudding and cool whip.

Nap time at the farm petting zoo.

Raina wasn't too sure about this thing...

Phoebe didn't mind, though :)

Tractor.

Fire truck slide.

An attempt to prove that I went to the farm, too.

Fun with corn.

Unlike Raina at this age, Phoebe's not thrilled with the bouncer.

Such a daddy's girl.

Picture catch-up

2010-10-16T19:00:00.005-04:00

Yummy.

Such a modelesque pose.

Real baby/real boppy, rice krispie baby/cake boppy (scary RK baby, I know!).

Early b-day present from Grand-daddy Rich.

During our fantastic warm spell last week.

At the Yo Gabba Gabba show, with our DJ Lance Rock glasses on.

Tinkerbell cake and cupcakes for Mikayla, friend of Raina's, who turned 2.

The best part :)

Wanna be my guinea pig?

2010-10-05T20:04:00.003-04:00

So, I submitted 4 class proposals to the local community college (CCAC for all you local folk), thinking that maybe 1 or 2 of them would get accepted. Guess they liked what they saw 'cause all 4 are making it into the spring catalog...

Fitness Bellydance
Finally, a fitness class that embraces your softness! Learn basic belly dance steps to stay in shape and tone your tummy, hip, arms, and buns. Veils will be incorporated for an amazing arm workout. This is a class for all ages and fitness levels. Dress in comfortable clothes (costumes more than welcome!) and bring a mat for a bonus ab workout.

Yoga Strength
Ready for yoga with a kick? Try combining traditional yoga postures with hand-held free weights, resulting in toning, strengthening, and increased muscle definition. This fitness yoga class will make you sweat with its vigorous flow but will also reward you with a deeply relaxing stretching section. Please bring light-weight dumbbells, yoga mat, and water.

Plugged In
Research has shown that people are more successful in achieving their fitness goals when they have group support. This is such a group! Not only will you participate in cardio, strength training, and flexibility workouts in class, but you will also meet a group of people with similar fitness goals. Joining this group means providing support to your fellow classmates both during class AND outside of class via a private online message board where classmates can share their journey to better health and the instructor can provide daily fitness challenges. A mat and hand-held weights are needed for in class, while internet access is needed for out-of-class participation.

Mommy Time
As everyone knows, us moms are the busiest people around. Very rarely do we take time for ourselves. Well, Moms, this is YOUR time! Through the use of interval training, we will burn more calories than your average workout. Time is not something moms have a lot of, so join this class to maximize your results! Please bring light and heavy weights, a mat, and water. Other than maybe your own, this is a tantrum-free class!

OMG. What did I get myself into?!?

If you'd like a front row seat to my possible undoing, REGISTER!!! :)

The Neverending Story

2010-09-27T20:19:00.002-04:00

Why, oh why, can't I have a few days of pick-your-own-adventure???

And this was the less mild of her tantrums today.

I have to laugh. I HAVE to...or else I lose my sanity.

I feel stupid for even writing about this...

2010-09-19T19:09:00.004-04:00

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but isn't the Cullen family supposed to be beyond beautiful?

How, then, can Jasper go from this

to this

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Vacation, art, and other stuffs

2010-09-12T17:03:00.008-04:00

I never did put up pics from our vay-kay...here are just a few...

Raina LOVED the seaside. She even sat so that the water would come up around her. Brave, I thought :) Little Swimmers clean-up afterwards not so fun, though.

Sittin' at Mom-Mom's house.

It was so hot at the beach that most of our pics look like this one, all fogged up. I'm not complaining. It's an improvement for me.

THE MOST ADORABLE BABY :)

Moving on to home happenings...

Our own zoo. Still under construction. Yay for cardboard boxes!

She got bored with paper, soooo....why not?

Nature walk project for daddy to take to work.

Playing in the back yard. We hardly got any use out of our playground this summer; just too danged hot. Looking forward to cooler Autumn temps.

The infamous day at the zoo with the family that I don't remember because of sleep deprivation. Chris is in the background, though, so he really was there.

This one makes me laugh. It's like she's modeling but smelling something really bad, too :)

And Pheebs :)

OSHA for me, please

2010-09-07T09:17:00.004-04:00

I need my own personal Occupational Safety and Health Administration. Shoot, all us moms need our own OSHA. Maybe a MOSHA. Not to exclude all you stay-at-home dads...I guess we could add a P for Parents, make it POSHA...except that I am feeling as far away from posh as you could ever get. All I think about is Posh Spice with her perfect hair, skin, and body, and meanwhile I have to admit that I gave the underwear I'm wearing today the sniff test after I picked it up off the floor. I'd bet a lot of money that I don't have that Posh Spice never does that.

Anyways, I totally digress. What I mean to write about today is sleep deprivation.

'Yah, yah, Jess, we KNOW you're tired. Shut up already.' I hear ya. Trust me, I'm tired of hearing it from myself. However, I am currently obsessed with sleep, or rather the concept of sleep, and I feel compelled to write about it. Only a little bit, I promise.

Let me preface this first by saying that I have the best hubby in the world. None of what I'm about to say is aimed at him in any way...although I will give him credit for sparking today's line of thought.

I reached my breaking point yesterday. By that point, I had gone 4 days with 2 nights of ZERO sleep. I had a cold that rendered breathing a chore. I was also supposed to be preparing to teach aerobics classes next week, requiring that I come up with and PRACTICE close to 2 hours of choreography....while I couldn't breathe...and could barely see through my sleepy haze. Add Aunt Flo on her way, too, while you're at it. I gave Chris an ultimatum of sorts: Switch nighttime baby duty responsibilities for a week or else deal with a less-than-happy me. He agreed to my demands. Starting last night, he will now spend 5 nights with Phoebe while I deal with only 2. I got about 6 hours of continuous sleep last night. That's more in one night than I truly believe I got all last week.

However, the night did not start out smoothly. Close to 11 p.m., Phoebe wouldn't stop crying. Chris wanted to throw my nighttime feeding weaning plan out the window 'cause, as he put it, he had to work the next day. My response: So do I. His comeback: Well, yah, but I can get fired from MY job.

Ahhhhh. There it is.

He's right. Us stay-at-home parents can't be fired. We can make as many mistakes as we want, but there is no performance review at the end of the day.

Keep this in mind, though.

I drive my children somewhere almost every day. I get behind the wheel and operate a mini bulldozer on wheels. I also find myself checking the rear-view mirror in panic to see what the car behind me is doing, 'cause I figure if he's still close behind me, then the light I just went through but didn't really "see" must have been green. Talk to Raina and she'll tell you about the time last week when I forgot to fasten her carseat seat belt. It was as I was backing up that I heard her yell "Va-Va! You forgot my click!!!"

I cook something for my children almost every day. I use fire to do so. Last week, I made Raina pancakes for lunch. Three hours later, as I was trying to pick up the kitchen before bringing the hubby home, I found the gas burner still on underneath the pancake pan.

I carry my baby every day. We live in a two-story house. While moving Phoebe from her bedroom to the livingroom yesterday morning, I felt my legs go weak and I stumbled down the first 2 steps. I had to stop and sit on the landing until I felt my head clear.

I suggested to Chris over the weekend that he take Raina to the zoo. He declined, saying that we just went the week before. Huh? Yah. It turns out that ALL of us went to the zoo together last week during Chris' vacation. I don't remember that. I actually had to go back through my facebook status updates to confirm....and yes, we did go.

And in a way, it's that last one that scares me the most, the memory aspect of it. I'm sure that day at the zoo was a good day, with quality family moments. How many of those moments have I already forgotten? How many more will be lost to me? We can get a new car after I crash the one we have. We can buy a new house after I burn ours down. We can be healed by medical science after I drop everyone down the stairs. What can be done for all the memories that are gone?

So, yah, I have job security. But safety and health? For myself and children? I'm not too sure about that...

Me and Pheebs

2010-08-25T20:33:00.004-04:00

Hair gene

2010-07-20T16:04:00.005-04:00

In our family, the hair doesn't come until late.

Gotta leave it to the wigs to imagine what they'll look like with it...

Letting the pictures do most of the talking

2010-07-16T20:37:00.004-04:00

My little dancer.

Admiring some fancy chickens.

Having a serious moment with Daddy.

The dreaded tummy time.

Princess in her exersaucer.

So far, the house is big enough for 2 princesses :)

The 2 castle cakes I did for a friend.

Sisters

2010-07-12T18:18:00.002-04:00

Volume control? What's that?

2010-07-12T12:54:00.002-04:00

(facebook peeps gotta go to my blog to see the vid :)

I know I'm behind. Maybe this weekend...

One can dream.

Father's Day weekend, Part 1

2010-06-19T13:16:00.005-04:00

To be a sleep deprived mom...

2010-06-16T13:16:00.009-04:00

...is to feel like her contacts are always cloudy

...is to find the remote control, phone, and car keys in the fridge (not put there by children)

...is to have below-zero patience for a toddler to wants to "Do it myself!"

...is to forget what it's like to have a real hair style

...is to wear PJs 24/7

...is to feel like she just can't

...is to work really hard to hold a conversation and even harder to remember it later

...is to think PB&J sandwiches for every meal is an awesome idea

...is to be the world's most awful wife

...is to not know the day of the week but to know it's not the weekend

...is to think that "living in filth" is not as bad as the 6 o'clock news makes it sound

...is to not remember how she spends her waking moments

...is to wish that her facebook friends were more active between 11p.m. and 5 a.m.

...is being okay with her left shoulder smelling like spoiled milk

...is to feel numb...yet feel intensely

...is to drive without seeing signs and lights

...is to miss her dreams of Dr. House

...is to wish everyone else were sleep-deprived, too, 'cause there's nothing more defeating than a fellow perky mom who's got it all together

Phoebe's new room

2010-06-06T16:46:00.005-04:00

Bye-bye, Chris' office. Hello, Phoebe's room! :) (facebook peeps gotta go to my blog to see vid)

And a few pics...

This is Sean, my own personal driver for a night out on the town with another mommy.

Daddy & Pheebs

Outdoorsy Pheebs

Fruit Roll-up tongue

She always seems to manage to get these things around her arms.

Floor time

Phoebe's "birth" story, PART ONE (about 10 weeks too late :)

2010-05-29T12:55:00.015-04:00

But better late than never, right?!?

Soooo, I think I left off where the high-risk OB was looking at me as an almost 34-y-o woman who wanted a V-BAC two full weeks past her due date with a cervix that wasn't budging and an 11-pounder waiting in the wings. Needless to say, I had to have a c-section. I'm going to try to let pictures do most of the talking, but let me state for the record that going 2 full weeks past your due date is pure craziness. I don't know if I would wish it on my worst enemy! This is what it looks like...

OMG, so disgusting and uncomfortable!!! To give you an idea of how much water I was retaining, I was around 225 pounds on this day and then 40 pounds lighter 7 days later. Insane.

Anyways, my midwife was at the hospital with us before and during the surgery. Since I'd had a c-sec before, I knew the routine and didn't really need help on that front. His job was to hold a mirror we had brought especially for him so that I could hopefully see the moment of Phoebe's arrival. As you may or may not know, I have serious issues when it comes to my first c-sec. I just can't bring myself to say that Raina was "born;" the experience was far too scarring for such a theoretically beautiful concept. When it comes to Phoebe's "birth," however, I'm a little bit better. I still can't say that she was "born" either, but I can think of the experience with a degree (albeit a small one) of fondness. Three things, I think, helped with this difference: (1) Knowing that I did everything within my power to have a natural birth...the doulas, midwife, going 2 weeks over; (2) having my midwife hold the mirror up for me when they pulled her out; I actually felt involved, a feeling completely missing from my first sensory-deprived c-sec; and (3) actually having a baby close to 12 pounds! As wonderful as a natural birth would have been, I can't help but think that maybe it would have hurt just a little more with such a big baby!

Pic time. Props have to go out to my midwife. Not only did he use one hand to hold the mirror up for me, he was using his other hand to take pics of Phoebe's arrival. Granted I was contorting myself on the table in order to see what was going on in the shaky and off-center mirror, but still...pics and memories of the big moment is more than I could have ever asked for. I'll spare you the bloody pics :)

This is at some point during the surgery obviously. I have to say that this time around hurt WAY more than the first time. The pain in my chest, neck, and shoulders was indescribable.

This is the high-risk OB that did the surgery. As he was first attempting to pull her out, I heard him say "Oh my, look at the size of this head! This is gonna be a big one!" After she was out, there was a parade of medical staff coming in and out of the room to get a look at the big baby. Word traveled fast!

She was actually bigger than the 11-pound estimate.

Isn't that just the cutest receiving blanket? Somehow one found its way into my bag and ended up here. I keep meaning to send it back. ;)

Obligatory post-op/recovery room pic. I'll never be one of those women who have the state of mind to remember to put on s0me makeup.

I didn't puke during or after the surgery, like the first time around, but I did have more pain than expected. They kept me well-medicated, though, so it wasn't too bad. The catheter was AWESOME! I was disappointed when they only kept it in for a day; with Raina, it was in for 2.

Speaking of Raina, she came to visit me that day...and meet her little sister :)

Like Raina, Phoebe suffered from some jaundice; however, unlike Raina, it cleared up on its own, with no need to take a light blanket home with us. She's pretty yellow in these pics, though!

This is a hold that only Daddy can do. She's never content when I try it.

And then came the fam...

Aunt Emily

Mom-Mom (my mom)

Gramma (Daddy's mom)

Grandpa Johnny (Mom-Mom's hubby)

Papa-T (Daddy's dad)

More vids and pics

2010-05-28T20:19:00.005-04:00

Whenever Raina sees the camera, she puts on this super goofy cheesy smile. I was trying to get a video of her ottoman gymnastics, but the minute I pulled out the camera, she pulled out the smile. Goofy :)

Here we are at the zoo. I told myself we wouldn't go anymore until school field trip season was over, but she asked to go and it was such a nice day today weather-wise. There definitely were way too many kids there, so we tried to stay in the least populated areas. Anyways, as you enter the main exhibit area, you go through a little tunnel that's perfect for echoes, which Raina is always more than happy to demonstrate.

Zoo again. Raina's terrorizing the meerkats while Phoebe is making friends with her stroller monkey and making old-man-chewing faces.

Raina's favorite thing at the zoo now: Dippin Dots (aka "Ice cream balls!")

Pics from our zoo trip...

And then Raina and I sitting outside tonight, enjoying a thunder storm. Speaking of thunder, see those thighs? They'll be in bootcamp in 2 days!!!

Vids for those who care (or like to lurk :)

2010-05-27T14:47:00.002-04:00

The grandmothers are getting close to needing methadone for their vid withdrawal...

Here's Phoebe chatting a little...

She LOVES the seat, but her neck still isn't quite strong enough to stay in for more than a few minutes. She gives a couple little laughs despite the awkward position, though :)

A whole bunch of baby nothingness going on in this one...

Chris and I have to get better with taking vids. And pics, for that matter, too. Phoebe is definitely getting the second-child shaft.

The long holiday weekend is coming up. I hereby vow to post more pics, vids, AND Phoebe's birth story some time during those 3 days :)

Yep, no mistakin' it...I'm a mom

2010-05-16T17:23:00.003-04:00

I had errands up the wahoo to run today. As I was driving, I noticed a train running parallel to the car. I cried out in excitement "Ooooh, look! A TRAIN!!! Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, CHOO-CHOO!!!"

I then remembered that I was in my car alone. By myself. Children at home with Daddy.

Someday I'll write again...

2010-05-14T13:59:00.002-04:00

Spring!

2010-04-01T19:29:00.002-04:00

Random musings between breast feedings

2010-03-26T18:37:00.006-04:00

If the phone is going to ring or someone is going to come to the door, it's going to be when I have a greasy Lansinoh boob in one hand and a crying infant in the other.

How is it that the baby is ready to breastfeed at the exact same moment that my husband is ready to serve me the dinner he made all by himself?

Explosive poos happen (1) during and/or immediately after a diaper change; (2) during and/or immediately after a bath; (3) or when I've stupidly left the house without a diaper bag.

Babies have the freakin' loudest farts and bowel movements EVER!

I am SOOOO over spending more than 15 seconds dressing my baby in cute clothes. Just give me something that'll keep the poop in and I'm happy. I don't even care if it's blue with tractors all over it.

Newborns will give the most amazing smiles. Even though I know they're not real smiles, that they're probably the result of gas, a part of me will still believe that she gazed into my eyes and smiled at me because of me.

I hope Raina isn't traumatized forever and likes me again sometime soon.

Next to teaching my dog to sneeze on command, losing 40 pounds in 7 days is my biggest accomplishment in life.

I am quite sick of answering the question "Did you have gestational diabetes???" every time someone hears about Phoebe's 11 lb 11 oz birth weight. Seriously, no, I didn't AND it's none of your business!

Just like with Raina, I can't bring myself to say that Phoebe was "born."

Time to feed again. In an hour's stretch of time, I can feed this thing 4 times. FOUR times.

I hope to blog about my "birth" experience soon. My mother is visiting for a week here pretty soon...I hope to have more free time then :)

I think my va-jay-jay is saying "Whew!"

2010-03-16T20:03:00.003-04:00

Crude, I know. But hey, it's the truth. When I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to have this baby naturally, I decided that as a dictator who was not at all concerned about how other body parts involved would feel. Now that I've been sentenced to another c-section, I can sense some parties going on that this dictator is not invited to.

So yah, another c-sec.

It all started Monday when I had to go in for a biophysical profile (basically a detailed ultrasound to check on how the baby was faring in my post-due date uterus). All in all, she was doing great, said the tech. Her heart rate was ideal, blood flow was good, and I had plenty of amniotic fluid. Raina was with me at the time, sitting in a chair by my side as well as can be expected of a 2-y-o, so needless to say, I wasn't paying 100% attention to the screen...but I did notice that the tech kept going back and forth between the baby and a data screen. Then she starts asking me questions like how big was Raina (8 lb 7 oz), how my sugar test went (fine, I passed), how big was Raina (um, 8 lb 7 oz), how had my blood pressure been (okay, only high when I had to bring Raina to the office with me), how big was Raina (seriously lady, 8lb 7 oz)...and then I finally caught on and realized that these weren't "normal" questions. So I asked "Why? What do you see?!?" Her reply, "Well, I've done the measurements about 3 times and I see an 11-pound baby." She even showed me that if she took away the largest 2 measurements of the 3, she still came out with an 11-pounder. A part of me knew my fate was sealed at that very moment. Unless I could bribe her to fix the numbers, my journey towards a natural birth was OVER.

Here's my thought on ultrasounds...they're great for certain things. I have no doubt they have saved many babies and moms. However, they are not all-knowing, ESPECIALLY when it comes to size. The ultrasound peeps will tell you they could be off a half-pound either way. OBs will generally say maybe a pound. Talk to a mom, though, and I've found that most have close to a 2-pound discrepancy story in their repertoire. I do...Raina was predicted to be 10 pounds and she was (say it with me) 8 lb 7 oz.

Let's fast-forward to today. I had an appointment with my midwife. The internal exam showed absolutely no change with my cervix...closed as can be. Because he delivers at Magee, he needs the support of the docs there. He told me that he had to talk to one of the high-risk doctors about my case before we could decide how to proceed, mainly meaning whether we could attempt an induction. Though I clung to the hope that he put out there for me to grasp onto, I knew what the outcome would be. C'mon, now...a high-risk OB looking at an almost 34-y-o woman who wants a V-BAC two full weeks past her due date with a cervix that's temporarily closed for business and an 11-pounder waiting to get stuck?!? Yah, right.

I got home to find a message from the midwife saying he talked to the OB. I called him back and was told that the OB said no way in hell, that he would be "driven out of town" if he even thought of attempting an induction on me. HOWEVER, if I go into labor on my own between now and Friday a.m., they'll support my midwife in attempting a natural delivery. C-section is scheduled for this Friday at noon.

So.

I'm not going to go into how I'm handling this. I know 99% of you don't understand what this means to me, why I have such an issue with my last c-section, why I'm probably going to have to look for a support group when this is all said and done....so instead I'm going to focus on the positive...

Phoebe will come out looking cuter than the vaginally-delivered babies. She'll be the one that looks like a toddler without a squished head!

I get to have a catheter in for a couple days. When you spend several months seemingly peeing every hour, having that sensation taken away for a couple days is pure heaven. The most I worried about last time was that the pee bag was hidden when visitors came. I can handle that. Sign me up.

I might get to stay an extra day in the hospital (as compared to a natural birth). Last time, I did everything I could to get out a day early even though I had a "complicated" c-section. This time, I'm treating this as a mini vay-kay away from my household chores, sick kitty, recent insomnia-stricken toddler, etc.

I get to plan ahead for my departure. I'll be able to leave here Friday morning knowing that the laundry is done, the kitchen is stocked, everything is "clean," and Raina is in good hands.

I get to wear Depends. I probably lost all of you on this one, but I'm going out on a limb here and admitting that I enjoy Depends. They're quite comfy...definitely better than what the hospital sends you home with!

There's more, I'm sure, but it's past 9 and I'm sure the DVR has accumulated some good trash TV that will help me through the numbing/disassociation process that I'm trying to put the finishing touches on before Friday comes.

Before I go, though, I have a couple shout-outs...

Thank you to all of you, family/friends/facebook peeps/blog lurkers. I haven't had a single person tell me to just suck it up, throw away my dreams, and just do what the docs tell me to. You might have wanted to say it...but you didn't...you just "listened" and encouraged, and for that I thank you.

Thanks to my hubby for putting up with me...for admitting that he doesn't "get it" but fighting alongside me 100% for every scary thing I've wanted regardless of how he might have felt. Let's also don't forget dealing with my moodiness, exhaustion, out-of-control appetite, elephant ass, etc.

Finally, thanks to my doula(s). Though I won't get to use them to the extent that I had hoped, had it not been for them and the effort they made to speak on my behalf, I would not have ended up with my midwife, a man who has supported my wishes completely, who has taken me to 2 full weeks past my due date (more than any OB would have ever let me go) all in the name of helping me get the birth experience I want. Thank you, ladies, for all your support. You two "get it." :)

Don't know if I'll be back before Friday.

If you're lucky, I'll have a laptop at the hospital :)

My family's last weekend as a 3-some

2010-03-14T22:30:00.002-04:00

Despite the rain, we decided to take Raina for her first trip on the incline. She had a great time. All the puddles were a bonus for her :)

And this next one shows why I have to laugh when people tell me to "Just take it easy!" Yah. Tell her that! To translate the Raina-ese, she's starts off with "Go crazy!" and then moves to "We did it!" I swear, you'd think these past couple weeks that we've been spiking her milk with Red Bull.

As for me, I'm 9 days overdue. I have 2 doc appts tomorrow...the first is for a biophysical profile, which is basically an ultrasound that'll check to make sure Phoebe is doing okay; the second is with my midwife. If my cervix is at all open, he'll sweep my membranes. I wish I could say I'm optimistic, but I'm just not. Maybe it's a defense mechanism...ya know, not wanting to get my hopes up...but with each passing day, I'm losing hope that things are going to go anywhere near the way I had hoped. As it stands now, if I don't go into labor on my own this week, I'll be admitted to the hospital late Friday/early Saturday to be very slowly induced.

Not only do I look forward to meeting Phoebe no matter how she makes her way out, I also very much look forward to not having to hear "Today would be a good day to have that baby," "Haven't you had that baby yet?", and one of my favorites "What are you waiting for?!?" Oh, and people, really, I don't need to hear about how big I am. I don't know that there's a single woman in existence who gets all warm and fuzzy when she's called huge. I'm ashamed to admit that I said something similar to a friend when she was pregnant (this was before I had ever been pregnant)...I wish I had stopped to think before I spoke. Try to remember this the next time a whale of a pregnant woman is in your presence...she knows she's a whale...she doesn't need you to point out the obvious!!! Instead, tell her she looks great, even if it's a lie.

Long and interesting week ahead. Feel free to drop by and cook me dinner or clean out the litter box or entertain the 2-y-o. :) No, really, please do!

Obviously my husband's fault

2010-03-10T19:34:00.002-05:00

I am an early person. You tell me to be somewhere at 3 p.m., I'll be there at 2:45. Okay, I guess I should edit that a little by saying that I used to be like that before the kid came into the picture. Now I'll be there at 2:59 but still early.

I am officially 5 days late with having this baby. Five days...120 hours...7200 minutes...I'll stop there 'cause it seems like the more I do the math, the less impressive it gets.

I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been asked "Have you had the baby yet?" In fact, while sitting on a bench yesterday at the zoo, a woman pushing a stroller stopped in front of me and said "Oh my God, you haven't had that baby yet?!?" I met this woman last week at an indoor playground when at the time she asked me when I was due and I was able to say "Tomorrow." The hubby tells me almost every night that "Tonight would be a good night to go into labor." Ummm, don't you think I feel the same way, too?!? As much as I want to, I have no control over this!!! And believe me, I'm doing all sorts of extra home remedy-type stuff to try to speed this along...but ultimately I believe that it'll happen when it happens.

I just hope it happens before the 19th 'cause that's the maximum amount of time that my midwife is giving me. That will be at 2 weeks late. At that point, we're looking at an induction (and honestly, at that point I'll be mentally preparing myself for another c-section).

Last night I went to the mall to look for a place to get a pedicure. A woman, a complete stranger mind you, came up to me and said "You're having a girl, right?" I said "Yah, how'd you know?" She laughed, pointed at my belly, and said "Well, by how you look!" Sigh. Whatever. This was already after noticing the way people were staring at me and giving me way more passing room than I needed. I'm amazed people haven't asked me how many I'm having. I know a woman who recently had twins, and I'm way bigger than she ever got! (Don't even bother arguing, Melanie, 'cause I'm totally right :) A couple weeks ago, while at Giant Eagle getting a few groceries, I had 2 woman ask me if I needed help with carrying my basket...a basket that wasn't even full! On one hand it's like "Gee, that's so nice" and on the other hand I'm like "What the hell?!?"

Long story short, tonight would be a good night to go into labor.

My prediction

2010-02-24T20:43:00.003-05:00

Ya know how hockey season seems to last FOREVER? Same with baseball.

Did you know that pregnancy season is longer than both baseball and hockey seasons? Craziness. Forty weeks times 7 days in a week...so that's 280 days. I'm not one to nitpick when it comes to people spreading misinformation (unless it's the hubby and he touches upon my further/farther pet peeve), but I will correct a complete stranger dressed in a black face mask and wielding an ax who says something about pregnancy lasting only 9 months. No, dearie. It's 10. Lots of times it's 10+.

Okay, so I just now couldn't resist googling how long a pregnancy is, and it turns out that it's a little more complicated than 40 x 7...but for the sake of argument...wait...you never argue with a pregnant woman, so never you mind! :P

Anyways, back to the title of this blog entry: My prediction. My "official" due date is March 5th. I've always felt this was too early (even I won't go into the TMI required to explain the reasons behind my feelings on that!). I know I said a few weeks ago that I thought I'd be early. I think I was under the influence of some strong wishful thinking. I am now predicting March 15th.

I told Chris my prediction today. His response: "I don't know if you can last that long!" I guess living with me right now isn't a day at the amusement park!

Some trivia that makes me feel better: The African elephant is pregnant for 660-760 days.

I dunno. I think I might have some African elephant in me 'cause that ass looks a lot like mine right now.

My little Diva

2010-02-20T21:54:00.003-05:00

I filmed this tonight at dinner. She was singing a Yo Gabba Gabba song with the lyrics "Try it, you'll like it," which is all about trying new foods (ironic considering that Raina is the pickiest eater ever and hardly ever deviates from her short list of 5 eatable foods). Anyways, I asked her if she would sing for the camera, and this is what happened:

In case you didn't catch that, she says "My all done!" She has this thing about the word "my." She'll use it in place of "I" or "I'm"...another popular one with her right now is "No my doesn't," as in my asking "Raina, will you pick up your toys?" and her responding with "No my doesn't." It gets her point across :)

And yah, I'm still pregnant.

Sending facebook a big fat middle finger

2010-02-17T11:00:00.002-05:00

EFF YOU, facebook.

That's 2 accounts suspended in less than a week. I can see that maybe you had reason for the first account if you believe that treating the victim like the criminal is the way to deal with things. You had no reason for the second account.

EFF YOU.

V-Day

2010-02-14T22:58:00.002-05:00

So Chris and I went on a Valentine's Day date this evening. Neither of us can remember doing the V-day date thing before...though we both feel that we should have at some point in our 12-year togetherness history. (Holy crap, 12 years!) Chris had made reservations at a local Indian restaurant that was having a special for couples' dinners and a live belly dance performance. We couldn't have done it had it not been for our babysitter, wonderful Aunt Emily, whom Raina just adores. For some reason, she really looks forward to jumping with Aunt Emily. Here they are having dinner before we left (and by dinner, I mean Raina pretty much only eating her jello, which you can see on her face).

Dinner was yummy, and the performances were good, too, though both Chris and I prefer our belly dancers to be a little softer...you could see the ribs on the chicks who performed tonight. Right towards the end of dinner, I started to feel totally weird. Don't know how else to describe it. My restless legs kicked in big time, along with a headache, and I just felt like I had to get out of there AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! It was a horrible feeling, a crappy way to end the date, but oh well.

Ya wanna know the best part of my evening? I know this may sound incredibly selfish and vain, but I'm just being honest. After showering and getting put together, I came downstairs to find Chris and Raina playing in the living room. Raina looked up from her toy, stared at me, and gushed "Va-Va, you're so pretty!" Had I not been wearing mascara, I would have allowed the tears to come out :) I certainly never feel pretty lately...I feel like I look like a bloated manatee...so it was super nice to hear that from my little girl. Here's the happy couple:

On a completely unrelated note, Facebook has disabled my account. I feel completely lost and alone...it was my primary way of staying in touch with real people and feeling connected to the outside world. I'm not going to get into it now. I'm going to give Facebook a week or two to reinstate my account. If they don't, I guess I'll create a new one. What a pain in the arse...but something will be better than nothing.

That's all for now...

Stop the presses...we've gone crunchy

2010-02-10T19:37:00.004-05:00

Not quite granola bar crunchy. Maybe more like oatmeal cookie crunchy. Perhaps gluten-free :)

It's official: Not only do I have a doula, but I also have a midwife. What the heck is a doula and midwife, you might ask? (and don't feel stupid...lots of people don't know :)

Taken right from a DONA International handout given to me by my doula, a doula is defined as: "...a trained and experienced labor companion who provides the woman and her husband or partner continuous emotional support, physical comfort, and assistance in obtaining information before, during, and just after childbirth." Go here to check out my doula(s): http://www.blessedarrivals.com/about.asp

I decided to pursue the doula thing after feeling completely overwhelmed and defeated when it came to dealing with my OBs and their attitudes towards V-BACs (you're on your own for research if you don't know what a V-BAC is...I'm trying to stay in my happy place and that involves not typing the word vagina or any of its derivations). After coming to the understanding that a doula is not a medical practitioner or someone who "interferes" with the doctors in any way, Chris was 100% on board. Kinda funny to think now that we both then said something to the effect of "It's not like we're doing the midwife thing!" Ha! Fast-forward to a few days ago when my doula told me about a very V-BAC-friendly midwife who'd be willing to take me on so very late in the game.

For the first time during this entire pregnancy, I actually got giddy and excited about the birthing experience that I could possibly be able to have...to be able to go into the experience without the battle armor needed (in my head) to deal with the OBs. Chris was wary. I knew he would be. He likes the idea of The Medical Degree, which midwives do not have. I'd like to state for the record that I did not pressure him in any way. I flat out told him that of course I would like to go the midwife route, but the last thing I wanted to do was make him even more uncomfortable than he already is (he's nervous about the V-BAC). I was fine with doing the doula/OB way. I'm not quite sure what tipped the scales in my favor, but he agreed to pursue the midwife.

What's a midwife, right? I took this from babycenter.com: "Certified nurse-midwives (CNMs) provide a full range of primary healthcare services to women in the United States, including routine gynecological checkups, family planning services, preconception care, prenatal and postpartum care, and, of course, delivering babies. They attend births mostly in hospitals, but also in birth centers and private homes. Certified nurse-midwives are trained in both nursing and midwifery and are certified by the American College of Nurse-Midwives (ACNM). To be certified, a CNM must be formally educated in midwifery through an accredited program affiliated with an institution of higher learning, demonstrate clinical competence, and pass a rigorous national certifying exam. CNMs are licensed to practice in all 50 states and the District of Columbia."

So, here's the deal. I'm still going to the hospital (Magee for all you curious Pittsburgh folk, not West Penn like last time). My midwife will stay with me throughout my entire labor, and should any "problems" come up that require more intense medical attention, the high-risk team of OBs at the hospital will be there to assist.

We met with the midwife today. He's a dude, which I understand makes some people do a double-take. Go here if you wanna check him out: http://www.mrmidwife.org/index.html. He immediately scored points for having toys in his office for Raina to play with. A little thing...yet a big thing. He basically just made himself available to answer any questions or concerns we had, I filled out a lot of medical history paperwork, and then he did a very brief exam (weight, BP, listening to baby's HR). I have weekly appointments with him from here on out, and I'm also supposed to see the high-risk OB team at the hospital (the soonest they can see me is Feb. 25th...we'll see if I last that long :)

I'm saying YAY! I don't know if Chris is saying "yay!"...he's probably saying "Yay, Jess is happy," but I understand that this probably increases his anxiety a bit. I do have to give him major props, however...the boy was on a Mission this morning to make sure we got to the appointment. We got even more snow, and he was out there before 8 a.m. this morning with the snowblower. He got us to Squirrel Hill safe and sound and 45 minutes early. That's my man :)

Now that we have all this in place and the snow is supposed to let up, you can bet your booty that I'm going to start experimenting with some, um, do-it-yourself (or with a partner!) "induction" techniques. I'm READY!

(and if Phoebe comes out wearing this, we know why ;)

OMG, get this thing out of me

2010-02-08T22:43:00.003-05:00

I need to vent. If you can't stand another complaining post, leave now and instead watch the evening news forecast another 6-10 inches on top of the 21 sitting outside as it is. OMG.

Was it this bad when I was pregnant with Raina??? I don't remember. At that time I was doing the myspace blog...maybe I should go back and read it...

I'm ready to give birth now. Now as in NOW...well, up until noon tomorrow and then I would ask that it hold off until maybe Thursday. Stupid snow.

You'd think my uterus was training for the Birthing Olympics. OMG, the Braxton-Hicks contractions are driving me INSANE. I've had them since very early on, like late 1st trimester, but these past couple days have been hell. They're to the point where I can't move when they come on. If I'm walking, I either have to stop or move in extreme slow-mo. I can't bend over. I can't talk normally or breathe normally for that matter. I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants. My belly gets so hard that I feel as though it's gonna pull a super hero move and tear open the front of my shirt. They wake me up during the few precious moments I'm able to sleep.

And I also have a 2-year-old who just doesn't understand why her Va-Va isn't playing with her like she used to. Pixar is replacing her as her best friend. Well, no, that's not true. Daddy is still Raina's best friend...then Pixar...then me.

And on top of all that, Phoebe-to-be has been moving nonstop. I can definitely feel a difference between her position and Raina's breech position. Phoebe is definitely head down...and definitely wishing she could add a few more square feet to her efficiency apartment. When she stretches, it feels like she's gonna break through. Several times tonight I clenched my fists and thought "Here it comes, here it comes, my water's GOTTA break with that one!" Obviously no such luck. Also, she won't let me slouch...I have to either stand up straight, sit very erect, or lay down on my side.

OMG, I could go on, I really could. I'll end the negativity by saying that I'm pretty sure Chris will get his wish of stopping at two. I have no love for being pregnant. I don't think I want to do it again.

I'm gonna end on a positive note...kinda. How 'bout a list of things I look forward to experiencing once this parasite leaves its host?....

Sleeping on my tummy. For Christmas, Chris bought me the same pillows that I fell in love with at Disney (close to $100, I think!). They're perfect for tummy sleepers and I have yet to be able to use them in that way. I CAN'T WAIT!

Having more than 40% of my body submerged during relaxing bubble baths. In order to cover everything that doesn't fit in the water now, I'd need to place a wet beach towel on top of myself. Beach towel, people; not wash cloth.

Glowing complexion. I'm only (optimistically) assuming things will go the same way they did the first time around. Beginning about 3 days after Raina's birth and lasting a glorious 4 months after that, I had the most wonderful skin. No make-up needed...which was AWESOME considering I had no time for such frivolity and I'm assuming I'll have even less this time around.

Decreased night-time peeing, going down from my current every-45-minutes schedule to my usual 2-or-3-times-a-night routine.

Sleeping again. Not that my sleep in an un-pregnant state is very good...it's not...it's just better than what it is when I'm pregnant.

The end of the restless legs. OMG, please let it end.

Getting my body back. I can't tell you how excited I am about starting bootcamp this spring!

Seeing my long-distance friends again. I'm the luckiest gal in the world when it comes to having the best husband. I have no doubt that he'll be super supportive in my taking weekends off here and there to visit my girls.

I'll stop there. I'm sure there's more, but I have to pee. Of course.

A tip for overly emotional pregnant chicks

2010-02-03T01:11:00.003-05:00

Do not schedule a vet appointment for late in the evening, like an hour before they close. Turns out this is the time they do a lot of their put-downs. So, while you're sitting there with your kitty who's STILL sick, waiting to get her weekly B-12 shot that seems like a waste of time treatment-wise, and trying to keep back your own tears because of an ongoing disagreement you seem to be having with the world, it is very likely that you will be subjected to the scene of a distraught lady coming in and explaining that her 14-year-old greyhound is outside, unable to walk by itself, and needs assistance to come in and get put down. Like this isn't bad enough...but then on your way out to the car, you happen to see the poor greyhound huddled on the cold ground, surrounded by its older caretakers who are obviously torn apart by what will be happening to them all in the next several moments, and you are then tasked with silencing your overwhelming sobs as you load your own getting-worse/not-better pet into the car so that you can drive home to continue your own stupid fight with the rest of the world...

...and the next thing you know, it'll be 1:30 in the morning and you are unable to get the image of that beautiful, broken greyhound out of your head and the waterfall will start all over again.

Damn you, world.

Something to consider...

2010-01-20T22:03:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here tonight preparing for my OB appointment tomorrow -- an appointment I'm dreading and already crying over for I fear that the doctor's main point will be "You can't have the birth you want." I have about 20 tabs open on my browser as I try to gather information to use in my composition of questions to ask the doc. In my search for answers (and questions), I came across this essay written by a woman who had a C-section. The author puts a lot of my inexpressible feelings into words, and I encourage you to read it 'cause it's most likely that one day you will find yourself in a conversation with a woman about her C-section.

Please don't say to her what many have said to me and the author of this essay.

http://www.birthtruth.org/grateful.htm

Stupid neuroses!

2010-01-18T20:14:00.003-05:00

I'm really trying to lighten up when it comes to messes...well, at least child-induced messes (I'm afraid I'll always be prone to rage when it comes to kitty-induced messes). Today we busted out some ink and stamps that Raina got for Christmas. Here's a little video of it. The (barely) contained panic of a possible doomsday-magnitude mess is apparent in my voice. I'm trying, though...really, I am!

It reminds me of when my kitty was a little kitten. I would light a candle and then spend the rest of its ignited time envisioning my kitty walking too close to the candle, thus igniting her tail and causing her to run around the house, brushing up against everything flammable, burning us all to a crisp. The end result: I'd blow out the candle 5 minutes after lighting it. Today, at the moment Raina discovered that it was way more fun to put her hand in the ink as opposed to the stamp, I had similar visions...I could see her pushing herself off the easily stainable kitchen nook seats and flying directly into the dining room to play peek-a-boo with my white curtains and then crawling across the floor onto the white rug and then pulling herself onto the couch in order to bang her hands on the wall... Yah, my mind was going on and on. I consider it a major accomplishment that I didn't even roll her sleeves up! :)

Turn around, A&E

2010-01-17T20:47:00.006-05:00

We don't need your Hoarders services at the moment 'cause I, along with the help of my super friend Michele, kicked some basement ass this weekend. The basement did a bit of kicking back, but boy is it worth it. Check this out...

Before:

After:
Before:

After:

Before:
After:

Before:
After:

Before:

After:

I know it's not that impressive to y'all since it's not your crap, but trust me...it sooooo needed done, especially before the baby comes. I seriously overdid it...I HURT so bad...but I stand by that it was worth it.

That's all. I just wanted to publicly pat myself (and Michele) on the back :)

For you men and never-been-pregnant folk

2010-01-03T19:23:00.002-05:00

Wonder why I may suddenly lurch forward, gasp "Ungh!", or squint my face and eyes as though someone has thrown acid in my face?

On a scale of 1-10 of Phoebe's movement, this ranks a 6 (it's just that one movement at the very beginning of the vid). She was just getting warmed up. I was too busy being curled up in a ball and biting a pillow to hold the camera when she hit 10 (which she now does between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m.).

Only (ha!) 8ish weeks to go. I'll need y'all to remind me as it gets closer to time why it is that I don't want to schedule an early c-section.

Pregnancy is not my thang!

(facebook peeps...gotta go to www.momwithoutaclue.blogspot.com to see vid)

This Santa guy

2009-12-06T23:05:00.003-05:00

This is Raina's first Christmas where she has enough brain cells to know that something is going on. She notices all the pretty lights outside (and inside, as well). She knows that there is an increased chance of seeing boxes containing "Presents!" sitting out on our porch when we open the front door in the afternoon. She knows that snow makes "nice happy snowmen." She knows that there's this Santa guy who brings presents to good boys and girls, wears red and white, has lots of white hair on his face, and says HoHoHo. Mostly, though, she knows that Santa's reindeer make lots of pees and poops (thanks, Pittsburgh Zoo reindeer!).

The Dormont rec center held a cookies-with-Santa event over the weekend, so of course we had to go and check out Santa. Over the past several days, we had been pointing out all the images of Santa and talking about his clothes, how he likes to laugh, his pets, how he's super nice, etc. I had no delusions that she would run into Santa's arms like he was her long-lost friend. I'm not even going to try for a pic of her in Santa's lap this year. No way! So instead, we just sat on the sidelines and watched other boys and girls sit in Santa's lap. She never smiled at him...but she also didn't cry. That's a start, right?

Here's me trying to convince her that Santa's a good guy...she's considering it...

She has this tendency to play with my hair when she's nervous...luckily I'm not high-maintenance :)

Completely unrelated...here she is all bundled up. She calls this her "happy birthday coat" 'cause she got it as a b-day present from her Papa T and Mama T. Red is a good color for her :) Let me just say, too, that putting gloves on a 2-year-old is way easier than a 1-year-old!

So yah, nothing much else going on here. I finished putting up the Christmas decorations this evening. As I was doing so, it occurred to me that this was the first time since Raina's birth that I'd really been able to put out so many decorations -- she's past that stage of putting things in her mouth or touching things she's not supposed to touch -- and that it'd be the last time for at least a couple more Christmases because of Phoebe. It was just kinda weird to think about.

I think I'm done with my Christmas shopping, too. Well, at least as far as presents go. Once it gets closer to time, there will be a lot of grocery shopping trips. We're having 3 Christmases here this year, so there will be lots of cooking and baking to do. I'm looking forward to the baking :)

Pregnancy-wise, my belly enters the room about 10 seconds before I do. Tee-hee. Either Phoebe is smaller than what Raina was at this time or she's just more laid-back. I remember being in pain from Raina's movement. Phoebe moves around, but nothing like Raina did. It could also feel differently because I have more cushioning this time around. I had forgotten what it was like to have a belly like this. I've been fat before, and to a certain extent, you can move fat around. There's no moving a pregnant belly. It's like having a bowling ball stuck to your abdomen. Putting on shoes that require more than simply looking down and slipping my feet in is simply no fun. On a TMI note, I'm growing skin tags. Not cool, people. Totally not cool. I just rip them off. I've heard that it's a pregnancy thing, but that doesn't mean I have to let them grow rampant on me!

On that note, I'd like to end with a video of my little girl counting backwards. I learned a couple months ago that she could do this, but it came as a surprise to Daddy about a week or two ago. She loves to count backwards from 10 and then yell "Blast off!" as she lets her balloons go. (Family-- Don't look too closely...there are unwrapped presents all over the background!)

Daddy withdrawal

2009-12-02T19:43:00.003-05:00

Today was Daddy's third day back to work after being off since last Wednesday. Daddy's little girl had the time of her life while Daddy was home...it was like a 5-day play fest. Apparently Raina is having a tough time re-adjusting to her life of Va-Va during the day and Daddy at night. She's making it clear that going back to the way things used to be is completely unacceptable. Over the past 2 days, she has developed a new cry...that only comes out when Daddy is around. She's also turned the tables as far as when she decides to act up. It used to be that she'd be a terror during the day with me and then sweet as an angel as soon as Daddy entered the picture (thus making me look like a total fool!). Well, it's the opposite now...Daddy gets quite the show when he comes home while I'm left standing there asking "Where did this come from?!?"

Tonight's dinner was especially dramatic. After crying for a really long time, we finally got her to sit at the table but only if we moved her chair right by Daddy. She then proceeded to eat her dinner with her head on Daddy's shoulder, throwing a fit any time he dared pull away, even if only to reach for his drink.

What funny creatures these 2-year-olds are. She's lucky she's cute ;)

(sorry for the bad quality of this vid...not enough light...)

Halloween, Birthday, Christmas, and melancholy vampires...

2009-11-21T21:00:00.006-05:00

I figured out that the main reason I've been putting off this blog post is because of a feeling that I was expected to be super thorough...and when I start to feel that way about anything in life, it becomes an all-or-nothing situation...with nothing winning more times than all. I've heard that's a common flaw in perfectionists. Anyways, I've counted to 10 and practiced some deep breathing and decided that life as I know it will not end if I just summarize the past month of going-ons. Rather than all-or nothing, I'm going to go with the something-is better-than-nothing approach instead :)

So. Halloween. As you may or may not know, I put my sewing talents (ha!) to the test and made Raina's costume this year: Foofa. What? You don't know who Foofa is? Then you obviously don't have kids...or smoke pot. This is Foofa, probably the least annoying of all the characters on Nick Jr.'s show "Yo Gabba Gabba:"

I used long pink pants and a long-sleeved pink shirt that Raina already had as the under part of the costume and then made the poofy body suit, white flower petal neck piece, and then glued a big flower to a hat she already owned. Wouldn't it just go freakin' figure that she refused to wear the whole costume?!? She wanted NOTHING to do with the flower petal neck piece. This is what our Foofa looked like:

Notice the less-than-happy expressions. Yah, she had a rough time with the whole Halloween experience. We spent it at Gramma's house in Erie. Whereas our neighborhood here in Pittsburgh doesn't get many kids, Gramma gets hundreds. She'd get super excited when the kids would come to the door, but the minute they left, it was nothing but tears and screams of "More again!" Needless to say, there was a lot of off and on crying, which eventually turned into just crying. Thank goodness for small towns and fire trucks on display right down the street, which cheered her up right away :)

Halloween weekend was also the weekend we celebrated her second birthday, also in Erie with Chris' side of the family. I spent the majority of the weekend baking and decorating Raina's cake. I did a 3-tier topsy-turvy style cake, Yo Gabba Gabba themed of course. I wasn't overly thrilled with the outcome 'cause it came out looking like exactly what it was: A canvas piece to practice many techniques, not all of which should ever be used at one time on one cake. I wish I had pics of it after I took the ribbons off...it looked a little calmer after I did that, but oh well. These pics show the gist of it...

As for the party, we had an excellent turnout of Chris' family...many generations represented. Raina did well, all things considered. She's such a shy and cautious little girl when it comes to social situations, especially ones that involve people interacting with her, but given some time to warm up to everyone, she did pretty well. We had been singing Happy Birthday to her for a couple weeks before her birthday, and she loved singing along...but when everyone started to sing for her at the party, you'd think she'd never heard the song before! (but several times while opening presents, she asked everyone to sing it again :)

After singing and cake came opening presents...

All in all, a great birthday with great company. Who could ask for more?!?

On to other things...

Turkey Day...Looks like we're spending way too much and getting an Amish turkey this year. Chris has this thing this time around of wanting a turkey that "tastes like turkey." Um, okay. Whatever. It all tastes the same to me. So long as he cooks it, I don't care! We're still not sure what kind of company we're having, but I hope it's at least someone. It's always more fun when you have people to share the food with...and pawn the leftovers off to!

Christmas...I am getting super excited about Christmas!!! It's been a long time since I've been hit with the Christmas spirit...I think 3 years now, maybe? Chris doesn't like hearing this, but I hate not having my own money to buy gifts with. Chris will tell me that "his" money IS "my" money, but I know it's not. He works hard for that money. I feel like such a leech to just take it and spend it. This year, however, things are different. Craigstlist is coming through for me!!! There is actually CASH in my wallet, cash for me to spend on gifts for my family. That means SOOOO much to me, to actually be able to participate the way everyone else will, to actually get to go to the stores and pick something personal out, etc. I'm so excited that I've had the urge to put up Christmas decorations, something I've NEVER done before Thanksgiving. As final proof of my newfound spirit, check out my homemade Christmas wrapping paper this year (I've already wrapped 3 gifts :)))) I decided to go for presents that could also double as decorations...

Now for some random stuff...

I've decided that, despite my love for Edward Cullen, I will not be seeing New Moon. The books are great (in that they are a great escape, not necessarily literary works of art), but sorry, the movies suck ass. Well, at least Twilight did. And yah, Robert does make for nice eye candy, but the Edward in my head is just soooo much better. Someone explain to me, too, why there's no such thing as a happy vampire in love? Would it hurt them so much to smile more? Anyone watch Vampire Diaries and know what I'm talking about?!? Yah, brooding is sexy but only to a certain degree. That's my rant on that.

I'm getting super fat, but I'm pleased to announce that I'm embracing it. I'll admit that I still get a little shocked when I catch a glimpse of my ass in reflection form, but I very calmly remind myself that, come May, that ass will be in bootcamp, and then I feel better and go about my way to the fridge. As for Phoebe-to-be, she's doing a lot of kicking, the peak of which is between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Usually I'm not sleeping then anyways, so it's not an issue...though I have had a couple nights where the kicking has gone on longer and I haven't been able to sleep through it. Nothing painful yet, like when I was pregnant with Raina...but I remind myself that I still have several more months to go! I had to go to the lab today for the glucose tolerance test and blood draw, but so long as I pass that, I think I might be done with the tests. I think. It's amazing how much you forget in 2-1/2 years. I can't even tell you how far along I am right now. Somewhere in the 6th month, maybe? Beats me.

As for Raina, she's 2. "No way" seems to be her most-used phrase as of late. Tantrums are many. However, I'm thoroughly enjoying being able to hold a "conversation" with her. It's amazing the words she's picking up and the stories she can tell. She loves to sing; however, to go along with her cautious nature, she's also very self-conscious and mostly whispers the songs to herself. I already put up one vid of her singing...here's another:

One thing I'll be doing differently when Phoebe comes around is forcing people to take more pics of me with my little girls. While looking through all our pics the other night, Chris made a comment about how there are so few of me with Raina. It's sad. On that note, I took a couple last night of the two of us. I'll end on that :)

I know, I know

2009-11-18T20:19:00.002-05:00

I'm so behind. I owe the family birthday AND Halloween pics/vids/stories. Honestly, when my evenings come, when Raina is snug as a bug in her bed, all I want to do is, well, NOTHING. Okay, not totally true: Eat and then nothing. And then eat some more. (Good lord, I can't wait until bootcamp in the spring!)

Anyways, once again I'm going to try to promise to catch up with everything this weekend. Until then, this vid will have to hold everyone over...a little Twinkle Twinkle, ABCs, and Happy Birthday. :)

Raina 101

2009-10-21T20:12:00.003-04:00

Favorite artists/songs (or "Raina kongs," as she calls them): Black Eyed Peas, Pitbull, Taylor Swift, Jason Mraz, Mylie Cyrus, Five Chinese Brothers (that one is from Chris' collection). The others are not from my collection...just what's played on the radio in the car!

What she'll say if you ask her where she went today: "The zoo." Runner up: "Mall."

Favorite food: "Mall pizza."

Favorite thing to do with Daddy: Dance.

Favorite thing to do with Va-Va: Play "bowl and water," a.k.a. wash dishes.

Favorite TV show: Yo Gabba Gabba.

Favorite movie: Wall-E.

Favorite toy: Trains.

Favorite words/phrases as of late: "Raina come." "Raina try, too." "Raina help." "Too" in general, meaning "also." "Kitty mess in kitchen." (Thanks, Chloe) Generally followed by "Va-Va wash it." (*sigh*)

Favorite tune sung by Va-Va and Daddy: Happy Birthday (always to her friend Mikayla and sometimes herself).

People she calls when playing pretend phone: First Mom-mom, second Gramma, third Daddy.

Her newest blush-worthy "obsessions": Demanding "powder on butt." And anything having to do with "boobies"...counting boobies, pointing at boobies, touching boobies. I've been mentally preparing my apology to the first stranger to become victim of this fascination with boobies.

Most adult thing she does: Demand privacy when she's pooping.

Favorite article of clothing: Her "pretty tights." She always wants to "Show Daddy!" after I get her dressed in the morning.

Something I wish she'd learn to do: Lick her fingers after eating Cheetos. That's the best part, but she insists that "Va-Va wash it." Yes, I give her Cheetos. What of it?

What she thinks is in Va-Va's belly: "A boy."

Newest pics:

Hangin' out with Daddy, learning about football.

Hangin' out in front of Daddy's work, waiting for Daddy to come out.

Newest vids:

Picking Daddy up from work...

We've started training her...

Fun at the farm...

More fun at the farm...

Pics for the fam

2009-10-15T21:03:00.004-04:00

It's been a while, and so much has gone on around here. I'm knee-deep in cake batter while I try to practice my mad-hatter cake skills before Raina's b-day, so I don't have the time to do a proper blog. Here are a few pics to hopefully hold the grandparents over until I can put up an insane amount of vids :)

Here's Raina trying her hand at pumpkin painting. We did this on a day where we were stuck inside because of the weather. VERY rarely do we not go out SOMEWHERE in the morning. The painting time started off very well...she was very excited...but about 20 minutes into it, there was nothing but screaming and tears. Severe cabin fever must be hereditary.

We went to a farm one weekend...one that had a tractor ride and petting zoo and pumpking patch and all sorts of other neato stuff. The petting zoo was BY FAR her favorite attraction there. She got up close and personal with goats, a pig, a rabbit, ducks, and chickens. We brought home 2 pumpkins (which I'm still in the process of "decorating") and a batch of apple cider that made both mom and dad a little, um, yucky in the tummy. Raina, too, for that matter! But it was good :)

Here she is at her friend, Mikayla's, 1-year b-day party. Since that day, she has become quite enamored with the Happy Birthday song and insists that we sing it all the time (with Mikayla's name!).

That's all for now.

It's official: Bye-bye, baby. Hello, toddler.

2009-10-03T22:21:00.006-04:00

So I decided Thursday that I was going to perform an experiment on my baby. Operation Big-Girl Bed was to take place during Friday's nap. Now, by big-girl bed, I mean taking her crib mattress and putting it on the floor. Nothing too fancy. Don't bother asking me why I decided to do this. I have no clue. It's not even like I've really been concerned about where baby #2 is going to sleep. Sure, I've given it some thought, but I haven't felt rushed to kick Raina out of her crib. To tell you the truth, I was just curious as to how she would handle the experience.

I started her Friday by talking up the big-girl bed and getting her help with setting up her mattress on the floor. She was quite excited with the whole process. While we went out shopping that morning, we made quite a big deal about all the pillows and blankets and anything else bed-related that we saw at the store, just getting her even more stoked for her afternoon nap. By the time nap time rolled around, she was READY, informing me herself after lunch that it was time to sleep. I took a few videos of the moments leading up to and after her nap.........

Here she is showing me how she was going to sleep. Not quite the traditional position, but oh well! She ended up staying in this position for her entire 2-plus-hour nap.

And here she is right after waking up...

Anyways, SUCCESS! I never dreamed that the experiment would go so well...that she would STAY in her bed for over 2 hours and sleep. I think I was more excited than she was. It was mere minutes after her waking up before I was on craigslist looking for a toddler bed. By 9:30 that evening, I was pulling the van up to the house with a Little Tikes car bed in the back :) Chris was in charge of baby duty that evening while I was out, and he told me when I got home that Raina got very upset and cried when she was put in her crib and not the big-girl bed for the night. I could not wait for her to get up in the morning so we could put it together.

Fast-forward to this morning...

I told her right after she got up that there was a present downstairs for her. It was in pieces in the dining room and hard to tell what it was, but when I told her it was a big-girl bed that looked like a car, she was all "Upstairs! Go, go!" She wouldn't even eat her breakfast...I had to bring it upstairs to her room and force her to nibble on it while she watched me put her bed together. Her squeals of excitement woke daddy up (who was supposed to sleep in), and with his help, we got the car bed set up and the crib taken down. Was she excited? You tell me...

While Daddy took her out to Starbucks and to a friend's house to play, I did a little more baby proofing and re-arranging. Bye-bye, crib!

I'm thrilled to pieces over the whole experience. It's always neat to see her get so excited about things. Daddy, on the other hand, could probably use some counseling. Like with the passing of the bottle and waking paci, he expressed some resistance to the change. It's hard seeing your little girl grow up...but very fulfilling, too :)

My Level 1 cakes

2009-09-23T20:25:00.005-04:00

Well, as you may or may not know, I've been taking cake decorating classes at Jo-Ann's. This month was Level 1...four classes, two hours each. I was able to attend the first three classes, having to miss tonight's last class because of the stupid G20 making my husband work longer than usual. Grrrrrr.

Anyways, I've had requests for pics, so here they are. Remember that I'm a beginner!!!

So this was decorated during the last 15-20 minutes of the second class. No joke on the time given to decorate! I think only 2 of us "finished" the darned thing, and I only finished 'cause I was determined to have something to show for the hours spent making all that different colored icing. Everyone had to do the same pattern, but obviously the writing and colors of the rainbow were different with each person.

This was decorated during the last 25-30 minutes of the third class. What is up with not giving us more time to decorate?!?!? This project could either be a cake or cupcakes. Most did cupcakes. As you can see, it was a serious rush job, but I am proud of one thing. The cake "pattern" we were working from showed only the two clowns on top. I added the third....

.....climbing up the back of the cake. He's a little squished from the drive home in the car, but you get the point. Creative, I thought ;)

This is the cake we were supposed to decorate in class tonight. White with pink pastel roses. Ummm, pretty but not really up my alley. I decided over the weekend that I was going to do the same thing (pretty much) but in black and white instead. The teacher did say we could be creative and change the, ummm, color of the roses. Ha! Oh well!

So I timed myself as I sat at the dining room table tonight, and I decorated this cake in 25 minutes. Unfortunately, tonight was the night we were really going to learn how to make roses, and I could have desperately benefited from the instruction. I hate to say that I kind of half-assed this, but I did. I just wasn't feeling it...probably due to not being able to make it to class :(

In the beginning, I was worried that a black cake (black icing as opposed to sleek black fondant) would look unappetizing, but I think it looks good enough to eat.

I'm looking forward to being able to take Level 2 in October...and then Level 3 in November and Level 4 after that. So anyways, if you'd like a free cake made by a beginner, give me a call. I want the practice...and how can you beat a free cake?!? :)

Speaking of cake, I'm off to eat mine now...

One more vid and pic

2009-09-19T21:06:00.003-04:00

I took both of these tonight. We have a sick baby...lots of boogies...and a permanently implanted finger...

..but that doesn't stop her from playing pretend with Daddy and loving every second of it. :)

Vids for the fam

2009-09-18T21:23:00.004-04:00

I plan on catching up with this blog thing later this weekend but thought it would be best to post all the Raina vids separately. So here goes....enjoy, grandparents!

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This is Raina playing her favorite game of "zshih zshu!" That's "Get you!" in adultese. This one also shows her love of kissing boo-boos. It's amazing how a kiss can make it allllll better. Also, that run she does towards the camera in the beginning...she does that a lot. It creeps me out...reminds me of a zombie :)

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For several weeks now, Raina has been able to count to 10. Maybe this is what all kids her age can do...beats me...she's my first, so I'm clueless!...but it never fails to impress me when she does it. I have to coax it out of her in this video, but she counts spontaneously ALL the time. For example, we went to the playground yesterday, and she had to count to 10 every time before she'd go down the slide.

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Nothing much happening in this one...just her cool hand motion for when she says "move" and then a glimpse into the daily struggle of understanding what the heck she's trying to say.

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Very rarely does Va-Va make an appearance in a vid, but here I am. Whoopee. Chris blames Raina's love of being tickled (in the good way, not the Chinese torture way) on me. I love a good tickle :) This vid doesn't show it, but most times when you tickle Raina, she completely zonks out...eyes get all glassy, posture totally relaxes...until you stop, then she's pointing to where she wants tickled, grabbing your hand, and saying "more."

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And now for pics...

Here she is with all her friends and the backpack we have to carry around in order to make sure they go everywhere she goes.

Here she is at the train tracks. She loves trains. Lucky for us, we live within walking distance of the T.

Here she is riding the camel at the zoo...

...and playing in the zoo's Kid's Kingdom.

She found this huge leaf at the zoo and wouldn't let it go.

I make this face, too, when I'm really enjoying my ice cream :)

I love you, craigslist!

2009-09-17T14:13:00.003-04:00

So, I sold 7 old art books for $50 the other day on craigslist. Old as in had since college and never used...not old as in ancient and thus valuable.

The day before making this sale, I saw this long ad on craigslist...

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This is a large lot of baking and cake decorating supplies. Right now I am selling the enitre lot together. It includes:

New in Box:
***5 piece stainless steel mixing bowl set- was given to me and box is a little smashed but bowls are still in plastic wrap and appear fine
***The Friendly Lion shaped cake pan- paper instructions/ideas guide inside the pan is ripped, Wilton
***Christmas Tree Cookie Treat Pan- plastic wrapping is a little ripped off, Wilton
***Cooks and Chefs 10 Piece Gift SIlicone bakeware & Rack Set- these items were bought from the HSN and that's the box they come in. It includes 5 pans/molds and 4 chrome wire racks for the pans. The 10th piece, a spatula, is missing.
***Nonstick Cake-Sicle Pan- box has been opened but item never used
***Wilton Dessert Decorator- box opended but item never used
***Wilton Singles- Tree
***Wilton Singles- Candy Cane
***Wilton Singles- Snowflake
***Baker's Secret- Santa face Pan
***Wilton Bunny Pan
***Pampered Chef Bread tube- flower
***2 Baker's Secret- mini swirl pan, 1 has tags still attached and 1 does not
***2 Wilton Jack-o-Lantern (pumpkin) Singles
***1 pack of 50 Cars cupcake baking cups
***Wilton Cookie Stamp- bunny

Used- no box:
***3 small terra cotta look "flower pots"- these can be used to serve dips, etc... but originally came w/ a bueberry muffini mix kit.
***1 large of the same thing as above
***set of metal measuring spoons
***8 inch plastic layer holder for layer cakes, Wilton
***1 small round cake board
***1 cake slicer/leveler- cord looks twisted but pulls tight when in proper position
***Sugar Plum Decorating Kit by Wilton- older cake decorating kit w/one 12in pastry bag, 19 tips, 2 couplers, and 1 flower nail- all older but defintiely useable. this was givne to me so I can't say for sure that everything that should be in this kit is in fact there. I've listed what is included.
***Wilton Pumpkin/jack-o-lantern pan- thin so best used for cookie cakes
***Wilton Mini Pumpkin pan- makes 12 muffins, cupcakes, brownies, etc...
***Wilton Foaming mug cake pan
***2 mini heart cake pans
***candy mold- turtles- needs to be washed well
***candy mold- small hearts with arrows- also could use a good wash

Used- in box
*** Mini Bake and Fill kit by Betty Crocker- used once

New- no box
***4 Wilton Show- N-Serve cake boards 14in X 20 In
***10 Wilton cake circles boards for 8 or 9 inch round cakes
***Wilton flower cake pan- never used but no instruction sheet inside
***about 20 small blue plastic favor holders
***2 packs (8 each) jar toppers kit
***about 20 clear plastic bags for candy
***Candy mold- Blues Clues- have instruction sheet/paper backing but it came off so I didn't list it as "in box"

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All for only $45.

$45, people. OMG. In case you don't know, I'm taking cake decorating classes and my bakeware (what little exists of it) sucks big time.

Check out what I brought home today:

That's what I'm talkin' about!!!

It's perfectly natural to feel jealous :P

Anti-sentence

2009-08-31T16:32:00.003-04:00

budget night. ugh.

cake decorating class wednesday p.m. yay!

house guests this weekend. super messy house. ugh.

$50 coming my way thru craigslist ad. yay!

new awaken-from-nap routine:

Labor Day weekend escape by myself?

Not to perseverate...though I totally am...

2009-08-27T21:43:00.002-04:00

This was me at about 5+ months preggers with Raina...

Nevermind that I never lost the last 25 baby pounds before embarking on #2...my baby bump is the same size now at 13 weeks as it was last time at 20+! Give me a couple more months and I'm totally giving up on maternity clothes and just going to rock the muumuu.

They come in long-sleeved for the winter, right?