Staying positive...despite all the snot

Let's get it over with:


Same as last week. And you know what? I'm actually okay with it. I had visions of being in the 160s by now, but I've seen progress, even if the scale doesn't show it. The progress is what I'm focussing on. My clothes are looser, but better yet, I'm jogging 4 miles at a stretch now. I never thought I'd be able to do that after less than a month of jogging. The breakthrough happened last week when I dropped my speed. I'm a slow runner to begin with...now I'm even slower! I dropped it down from 5.5 to 5 mph. Ever since doing so, I've been able to run longer and with practically no pain in my knees; whereas before, my knees hurt every time I ran. I haven't been so good with my weight training this time around...add onto that my period, and the scale's results aren't really a surprise. I'm excited about something, though! I've had my eye on this guy at the gym for a couple weeks now. I only see him on the weekends. He's a trainer and he knows his sh*t. You know how you can just look at someone and know whether or not they love their job and that they're the best at it? Well, I took one glance at this guy and I knew it. I wanted to ask management for his name a couple weeks ago so I could try to set up a session, but I wasn't sure if he was an employee. I thought he might be a contractor there against the rules, and I didn't want to be the one to call him out and get him into any trouble. However, I finally broke down and asked about him over the weekend, and the front desk people gave him my name and number, which he ended up not needing 'cause he stopped me on my way out of the gym and we ended up talking for close to an hour. All I want is one training session about every 6 weeks. It's crazy that I'm so intimidated by the machines, but I am...I need my hand held for a little while until I get my confidence back. Well, he basically told me that my gym has no plans for me, that I'd be throwing away a lot of money, but that he'd be happy to help me. When I asked him for how much, he said "Whatever you think is fair." Argh! I HATE that! I walk by yard sales that don't have prices marked 'cause I HATE to negotiate prices. HATE IT! So then he asked me what I used to get paid to teach a class. When I said $20, he said "Sold!" Then I said "No way, that's not fair." Anyways, you can only imagine how long this went on! We finally settled on a "fair" price and I have my first session on Feb. 8th. I'm so excited. SO excited. Needless to say, Chris is totally making this hard on me. He's all about teasing me about my "gym boyfriends." Sigh.

So a question to all the moms out there. Am I crazy or is this baby fat totally different from the fat I had before having baby? I swear it is. It's like reinforced steel/super glue kind of fat. I seriously feel like I'm in some weird fat suit. I've been big before...200 pounds a few years ago...so I'm used to carrying extra weight. This weight just feels different. I can't really describe it. Hopefully you know what I mean.

News on the homefront...baby is sick. There's all sorts of snot, crankiness, and clinginess going on. The snot is gross. I'm not a fan. It's just running out nonstop, and her preferred way to deal with it is rubbing up against me. Yuck! I've kind of grown dependent on our trips to the gym...it's like guaranteed me time that I look forward to a whole bunch...but I think this cold of hers will have us staying home all week. Here's a little pic of her from today...I was trying to capture the snot, but this doesn't do it justice...



More baby stuff...So we used to give her a bath every night, but we cut down to every other night about a month ago 'cause her skin was starting to get really dry. Chris was thrilled 'cause he hates bath duty, so this change made it possible for him to go a couple weeks without bath duty falling on his baby duty night. Well, as of about a week ago, Raina has started to ask for her bath specifically. It's super cute...she'll stop what she's doing, give you puppy dog eyes, and sign bath (which looks like she's rubbing her chest with both hands). It seems as though bed time doesn't go so smoothly when we ignore her requests, so more often than not, she's getting a bath every night. She's even started asking for it multiple times a day, but I'm not going there with her! She's still not walking. She's discovered crayons and enjoys "drawing" with them. She talks a lot but doesn't say much, if you know what I mean. She's got "Daddy" down. For some reason, I've always been "VaVa." She tends to say "MaMa" only when she's really upset. Banana is still "bababa" and she's playing around with different ways of saying "penguin." Still no hair. Grrrr!

On the hubby front, a lot going on....His company is asking for voluntary lay offs. If they don't get enough people to volunteer, whatever "enough" may be, they'll start with the firings. Needless to say, it's worrisome and my defense mechanism of choice is avoidance. So, to that end, moving on...

Provided he still has a job, he's being sent to Europe in February. They're still not sure on the dates...something like the 9th to the 20th. That's a long time! I knew this trip was coming, but I had really hoped it would be in March, when the weather was better. I'm not really looking forward to being a single mom for that amount of time, but I am looking forward to the quiet nights of being alone. Oh, and the king-sized bed all to my myself ;) I know I'll get lonely, though, and desperate for me time, so I'm hoping friends and family will be willing to make themselves at home here every once in a while.

So I figured out the main reason behind my serious decrease in computer usage: I no longer have a laptop. Every time I go to sit down at my computer now, Raina crawls up to me all excited saying "Daddy?" and signing "up" until I pick her up and we look at pictures and videos of Daddy. I can get nothing done other than the short facebook status updates, which I have to do when she's not looking. Once evening comes around, I'm cleaning and working out and ready for time to myself to do nothing. So there. I don't quite know how to fix the situation. I'll have to think about it...

That's all for now. I hope to be back sooner than next Monday. Another reason I've been slacking on the blog is that my camera battery has been dead and the charger has been missing. I remedied that today :)

Midol, anyone?

First things first:

3 pounds! Go me! That's about 10ish pounds total in 2ish weeks. Now I have to be honest about one thing...I actually took this pic Sunday morning, not this morning...reason being that I pigged out Sunday night during the Steelers game with super nachos and ice cream. Add on top of that being bloated because of that time...yah, today's scale number was not so good. I tried to make up for it by going to a bootcamp class at the gym this morning at, get this, 5:45. OMG is right. It was a total waste, though, considering how I ate today...once again, I blame it on that time. See a pattern?!? I'm on my way to spending at least 90 minutes on the treadmill downstairs tonight and then it's back to being super good tomorrow. I have to admit that I busted my ass last week to lose what I did. My pants, though, are looser...always a good thing :)

I'm keeping this short tonight. For some reason (no, wait, I know the reason...that time) I just have not been able to get back into this internet thing. I've slacked on this, I haven't answered e-mails, I've been less active on facebook...it's some sort of funk that I hope passes soon. Please don't hate me until then.

The longest blog entry in history

It's been a while, so go ahead and grab a glass of vino and chocolate, wrap yourself in your Snuggie (OMG I want one!), sit back, and prepare to be bored out of your skull. :)


First things first...the dreaded scale pic...



So I "started" my weight-loss journey before New Year's. Um, DUMB. Yah. Totally dumb. I was 178.8, I think, but then decided to blow it for the holiday. I mean, we had bought the wine and cheese and crackers...I couldn't let them go to waste. And then, of course, we had leftover wine, cheese, and crackers, so I had to finish them off over the next couple days. Anyways, by the next week I actually ended up gaining...the scale said 180.something...but my laptop very conveniently chose that day to die; thus I never posted that pic. SO, I've really only been doing my thang for a week now, and I think going from 180+ to 173.6 is pretty respectable. I'm pleased! I'm trying to stay between 2-3 pounds lost each week from here on out...we'll see how it goes. New pic next Monday. (Notice how I did my nails up for the occasion?!?)


Something that should help my attempts to finally shed this baby weight is a committment I've made to run in Pittsburgh's relay marathon. As it stands now, I'm set to run one of the longer legs, 7.8 miles I think. I'm running between 2-3 miles now. My goal is to be consistently running 3 miles by the end of the month and then really start training. I go back and forth between seriously freaking out ("OMG, there's no way in hell I can run 8 miles by May!!!) to feeling quite optimistic and excited ("I'm almost running half that amount already...I'll be fine and totally hot come May!!!). Yah, right! It's good, though, to have something concrete to work towards. It's not like I can procrastinate and cram all my training in the couple weeks before the race...that won't work! If I really keep on this (which I will because I have to), I might actually be able to fit into some of my summer clothes by the time I go to Florida for a couple days in March. I want to be able to wear tank tops again without the fear of tripping over my triceps. That'd be nice.


On the subject of fitness-related things...I finally finished my coursework that will allow me to keep my group exercise certification. I just have to send in my work, hope I passed, renew my CPR cert, fill out more paperwork, and then I'm good to go for 2 more years. I'm still going to have to pay for an extension 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to get the CPR cert in time, but I'm fine with that. It's just a big relief to have it done. Now I can concentrate on learning to knit :)


Moving on to baby stuff...She's still not walking. I'm not in a big hurry for that to happen, but in the same breath I am starting to get concerned about how long it's taking. I know Chris didn't walk until he was 15 months old, so I'm totally aware that she could just be a late bloomer. However, she's going on 15 months in a couple weeks, and she's still not all that good at walking while holding onto our hands. She takes funny, awkward goose steps. She's playing more with her balance, though. She'll play the "no hands" game, where she stands up and then lets go of whatever she's holding onto, throwing her arms up in excitement at having balanced by herself, usually squealing at the same time. It's cute :) She also thoroughly enjoys climbing stairs. Needless to say, that freaks me out and I have a hand on her butt the entire time she's climbing, but I know she has to learn sooner or later. Speaking of sooner or later, bottles are going bye-bye in this house. She's still not 100% cool with sippy cups, but oh well. The doc told me by 15 months there should be no bottles. Chris is sad to see them go...daddy's girl is growing up and he doesn't like that! On a more upbeat note, her new favorite "toys" are the magnets on the fridge, which works out just fine when I need to clean the kitchen...they keep her entertained for a good while. I really should buy some new and exciting ones for her. Her newest obsession is grapes. She LOVES them...signs "more" nonstop whenever they are in her presence. Thank goodness for Costco and their 4-pound container of grapes for $7.99! Our morning routine has been a little iffy these past couple weeks...there was a while there where she was waking up around 8 a.m., at which point I decided I would wake up early and get a run in before she was up...but that was very short-lived. She's now back to waking up between 6 and 7 again, sometimes earlier. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. At least she's back to taking 2 naps again (usually)...I wasn't ready for her to give even just one of those up. I don't know that I'll ever be!


As for what's new with the hubby...He has officially started his new position, and this one does not require him to be on call. YAY! However, he has 3 more classes to take before he graduates and gets his Masters in May. One of them is online, but 2 are not...which means I'll be without a car for 2 days. Ug. I'm trying not to think about it. I still have a few more weeks before that happens...I just hope the weather is better by then so baby and I can get out of the house. He also introduced me to a new band that I actually like. If you know Chris at all, you know he listens to some pretty weird stuff. I've been without a real interest in music for many years now (I'm assuming you don't count singing every day "Here's the mail, it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail; when it comes I wanna wail MAAAIIILLLLLL!"). The band is Donora, a local band. Not only do Chris and I both like it (which is amazing in itself), but Raina also seems to dig it. She dances to it and signs "more" when we turn it off. I look forward to our next road trip when we can all enjoy the music being played in the car.


On the TMI front, Aunt Flo is coming to town and, man, is she in a mood. I dunno what's going on, but this is a particularly rough visit and she isn't even here yet...just on the way. The other night I was alternating between feeling incredibly anxious to incredibly sad, which isn't normal for me. All the more reason to keep up the exercise...I have a feeling I'll need all the endorphins I can get. Also, the week before is when I'm hit the hardest with cravings and munchies. I've been munching all day today, granted on good things but munching too much nonetheless. I've also been thinking a lot about my OB/GYN lately. It's a relationship I haven't continued since having the baby, but seeing as we want to start trying for #2 come summer, I should probably go see him again. I have a lot of questions about VBACs, as well as a very strong feeling that another c-section is in my future. I'm not too pleased about that, but I think I'll handle it better (emotionally) the second time around as compared to the first. I still have a hard time using the word "born" when it comes to Raina's, um, "birth." I have mixed feelings about seeing him again...we have such a love/hate relationship...

On a personal hygiene note, has anyone out there ever dyed their eyebrows? If so, I need the scoop. What did you use? How long? Details, please. I'm not pleased with my blonder color and am thinking about going browner next month...unless I decide to go even blonder, at which point I'll seriously need to dye my eyebrows.

So besides a speculum, I have quite a few things to look forward to in the upcoming months...My mom is coming over Easter. I can't wait! I'm determined to get some major spring cleaning done while I have the free babysitter. In March, when I meet Chris in Florida for the weekend, I'm going to Disney for the first time EVER. I feel like I'm the last person in the world to go! Then there's the marathon in May. June brings a wedding I'm in, and then by July I'll be preggers. Ha! Actually, February looks like the only noneventful month...I'll have to do something about that...


So, yah, I'm back. Chris actually had me back online the day after my laptop died. I didn't make a full return, though, because, well, I just didn't feel like it, which is totally weird in itself. See, Aunt Flo is totally trippin' this month. Anyways, I no longer have a laptop...I'm chained to a real box that can't move around with me, which sucks...but I'd rather have something than nothing. The internets are the biggest connection I have with people...I'd go crazy without it all!

So I know the baby videos are really only entertaining for the grandparents and, for some reason, Michele :), but I'm putting some up anyways...

Here she is playing with a cow pillow that was sent as a gift by our friend Jennifer. She got a huge kick out of throwing it around.

Here she is playing with her new favorite toys and showing off her belly...

And here she is supposed to be doing her Super Baby routine but not cooperating. This one also shows the limitations of signing!

If you can't see the videos, that means you're reading this in facebook. Ya gotta go to my blog to see the vids...www.momwithoutaclue.blogspot.com. You're welcome :)

So that's that. The latest I'll be back is next Monday with another pic of the scale. Refill your glass o' wine and have another piece of chocolate for me. Mmmmmmmm....

I haven't forgotten

Yup, I know I'm supposed to share a scale picture (even though I decided to not really start until today :), but my laptop died this morning, so I have no computer of my own. Hubby is working on setting me up with something else. I'll try to be back soon. And nooooo, I'm not avoiding the scale...just to give you a teaser, it went up. See? Told you I'm good at that.

Later, peeps. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I swear, if I weren't married to such a computer whiz, I wouldn't own the darned things!